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Which do you prefer - items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice

Which do you prefer - items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice m19B1
With the galloping industrialization we cannot imagine a world without machine made items. I, personally, prefer hand-made items. Firstly, hand-made items can be a better fit to your needs. In the factories, the machines follow the same basic forms, like size, materials, shape etc. It should fulfill all the costumer’s demands. However, our requirements may not match those forms. By buying hand-made items you can decide exactly how you want the item to be. Thus, you get a unique and suitable item. For example, when I moved to my home I had an irregular room shape. I decided to have a costume made closet to better utilize the room space. Secondly, by buying hand-made items I support a small local business. Small businesses are a major engine of growth of the economy. They not only create working places, but also encourage innovation and competitions in the market. Their success is, therefore, the success of the whole society. Thus, I always try to buy from small local shops. Although the significant contribution of the machine to humanity, we cannot ignore the handmade products. Buying those products can benefit both you and the society.
With the galloping industrialization we cannot imagine a world without machine made
items
. I,
personally
, prefer hand-made items.

Firstly
, hand-made
items
can be a better fit to your needs. In the factories, the machines follow the same basic forms, like size, materials, shape etc. It should fulfill all the costumer’s demands.
However
, our requirements may not match those forms. By buying hand-made
items
you can decide exactly how you want the
item
to be.
Thus
, you
get
a unique and suitable
item
.
For example
, when I
moved
to my home I had an irregular room shape. I decided to have a costume made closet to better utilize the room space.

Secondly
, by buying hand-made
items
I support a
small
local business.
Small
businesses are a major engine of growth of the economy. They not
only
create working places,
but
also
encourage innovation and competitions in the market. Their success is,
therefore
, the success of the whole society.
Thus
, I always try to
buy
from
small
local shops.

Although the significant contribution of the machine to humanity, we cannot
ignore
the
handmade
products. Buying those products can benefit both you and the society.
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IELTS essay Which do you prefer - items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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