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Due to the effect of globalization , the culture of some countries are influenced by others. some think that it is a positive development , others consider r this can be harmful. agree or dis agree

Due to the effect of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. some think that it is a positive development, others consider r this can be harmful. agree or dis agree YLdnm
Nowadays the whole world has come up with a single platform due to the advancement in technology. The countries are exchanging their cultures and beliefs. This is a highly debatable issue that whether this trend is beneficial or harmful for a country. In my opinion, it has both positive and negative impacts on life on people. Firstly, it helps in improving the trade between two countries, which results in better economic condition of the country. For example, it encourages the investment between two nations and it also opens the ways of employment in foreign countries. Secondly, it is also helpful in enhancing our knowledge about fashion of other nations. As, by getting knowledge about civilization and language of other nations, we can easily settle in that country. This trend has a disadvantage also. As sometimes it can dominate on the civilization of a particular nation. For example, the trade between India and China has dominated in the market of Indian goods. As the things made in China are thought to be more durable and less costly, so people of India prefer to buy China made things as compared to their personal products. Moreover, cultural exchange between two countries may prove harmful for the ability of the same nation. As Indian masses have started following the western civilization and have forgotten their own cultural values and beliefs. In conclusion, although technology has made the world a global due to which countries are exchanging their cultures. This trend has both pros and cons on the fashion of a particular nation
Nowadays the whole world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a single platform due to the advancement in technology. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are exchanging their cultures and beliefs. This is a
highly
debatable issue that whether this trend is beneficial or harmful for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my opinion, it has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on life on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in improving the trade between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which results in better economic condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, it encourages the investment between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and it
also
opens the ways of employment in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Secondly
, it is
also
helpful in enhancing our knowledge about fashion of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. As, by getting knowledge about civilization and language of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, we can
easily
settle in that country.

This trend has a disadvantage
also
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can dominate on the civilization of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For example
, the trade between India and China has dominated in the market of Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. As the things made in China are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be more durable and less costly,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of India prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
China made things as compared to their personal products.
Moreover
, cultural exchange between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may prove harmful for the ability of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. As Indian masses have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
following the western civilization and have forgotten their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultural values and beliefs.

In conclusion
, although technology has made the world a global due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are exchanging their cultures. This trend has both pros and cons on the fashion of a particular
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
nation

IELTS essay Due to the effect of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. some think that it is a positive development, others consider r this can be harmful. agree or dis agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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