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effects of sleep deprivation

effects of sleep deprivation dD06P
Nowadays, many people are not getting enough sleep, though it is a biological need, without which human life will be seriously affected. people are willing to skip sleep because of the 24/7 culture where all the information, services are available round the clock, and the harsh competition in the business world in which employees have to sacrifice their sleep to please their boss. Sleep deprivation can affect on performance, stay awake 24hours or sleep 5 hours a night for a week likely blood- alcohol level of 0. 1 per cent, moreover sleeping an average of five hours a night working, studying, driving, and making decisions as though intoxicated. Sleep deprivation can lead to poor grades, poor performance at work, and dangerous effects for example in Feb 2009, a commuter plane crashed on the way from Newark to Buffalo, killing 50 people or 20% of car accidents. Sleep deprivation can lead to a serious problem for the medical profession such as working 30 hour-long shifts twice a week causing performance and treatment of patients. 20% of residents acknowledge making fatigue that leads to injury of a patient, 5% residents lack of sleep cause patient’s death
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
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sleep
, though it is a biological need, without which human life will be
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
are willing to skip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the 24/7 culture where all the information, services are available round the clock, and the harsh competition in the business world in which employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
their boss.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sleep
deprivation can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on performance, stay awake 24hours or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
5 hours a night for a week likely blood- alcohol level of 0. 1 per cent,
moreover
sleeping an average of five hours a night working, studying, driving, and making decisions as though intoxicated.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sleep
deprivation can lead to poor grades, poor performance at work, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects
for example
in Feb 2009, a commuter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
crashed on the way from Newark to Buffalo, killing 50
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or 20% of car accidents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sleep
deprivation can lead to a serious problem for the medical profession such as working 30 hour-long shifts twice a week causing performance and treatment of patients. 20% of residents acknowledge making fatigue that leads to injury of a patient, 5% residents lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
cause patient’s death
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IELTS essay effects of sleep deprivation

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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