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whether the role of parents should be considered more essential or others like friends, teachers, and peers

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Children are affected by both nature and nurture from the moment of birth. However, whether the role of parents should be considered more essential or others like friends, teachers, and peers is a controversial issue. From my point of view, although parents have a golden opportunity to form the child's personality, the role of the environment and the will of the human being will be more decisive. In the forthcoming paragraphs, this opinion will be evaluated. On the one hand, psychologically, the infant's character is formed before the age of five. In this stage, children have the most communication with their parents compared to others, receiving the most behavioral patterns to imitate. In addition, positive and negative characteristics of a couple are highly likely to transfer to the children through genes. Such genes will potentially be present in human personality and can be activated by some specific environmental factors. Therefore, parents will seemingly have had the unlimited power to rear babies in every desired way. On the other hand, environmental factors such as teachers, peers, books, and media can have huge effects on the child's personality. Sometimes, experiencing a wise teacher or book not only is able to change one's thoughts but also his or her lifestyle. Another point that should be taken into consideration is that, these days, duo to the extensive accessibility of the internet and media, youngsters have been spending lots of time on them, particularly while being alone. Additionally, children usually share their secrets or personal feelings just by their friends, what cannot say to their family. In my opinion, even though parents can have a strong influence on their children's character, especially in lower ages, each person finally would follow his own way based on his determination. Such a will ordinarily can be captured by different kinds of environments. To sum up, albeit dissatisfactory to some, the outside world influences the intellectual and social development of children. However, finally their will which captured from these developments would result in following developments subsequently.
Children
are
affected
by both nature and nurture from the moment of birth.
However
, whether the role of
parents
should
be considered
more essential or others like friends, teachers, and peers is a controversial issue. From my point of view, although
parents
have a golden opportunity to form the child's personality, the role of the environment and the will of the human being will be more decisive. In the forthcoming paragraphs, this opinion will
be evaluated
.

On the one hand,
psychologically
, the infant's character
is formed
before
the age of five. In this stage,
children
have the most communication with their
parents
compared to others, receiving the most behavioral patterns to imitate.
In addition
,
positive
and
negative
characteristics of a couple are
highly
likely to transfer to the
children
through genes. Such genes will
potentially
be present in human personality and can
be activated
by
some
specific environmental factors.
Therefore
,
parents
will
seemingly
have had the unlimited power to rear babies in every desired way.

On the other hand
, environmental factors such as teachers, peers, books, and media can have huge effects on the child's personality.
Sometimes
, experiencing a wise teacher or book not
only
is able to
change
one's thoughts
but
also
his or her
lifestyle. Another point that should
be taken
into consideration is that, these days, duo to the extensive accessibility of the internet and media, youngsters have been spending lots of time on them,
particularly
while being alone.
Additionally
,
children
usually
share their secrets or personal feelings
just
by their friends, what cannot say to their family.

In my opinion,
even though
parents
can have a strong influence on their children's character,
especially
in lower ages, each person
finally
would follow his
own
way based on his determination. Such a will
ordinarily
can
be captured
by
different
kinds of environments.

To sum up, albeit
dissatisfactory
to
some
, the outside world influences the intellectual and social development of
children
.
However
,
finally
their will which captured from these developments would result in following developments
subsequently
.
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IELTS essay whether the role of parents should be considered more essential or others like friends, teachers, and peers

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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