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The environment we live in is in danger due to various problems. What are the underlying causes? Who is responsible to combat this?

The environment we live in is in danger due to various problems. What are the underlying causes? Who is responsible to combat this? BlB7V
The government should get up from a long slumber and initiate a government-sponsored awareness campaign. Hopefully, we can raise awareness among the public through an effective advertising campaign that could warn the people of the dangers of pollution. We can do that by disseminating flyers and brochures which outline the drawbacks. We should also include a new subject in the curriculum to teach young pupils about the perils of pollution and teach them how they can as individuals prevent it. In addition to that, policymakers should introduce new laws and regulations which restrict car usage as well as ensure that the public will follow them and, in some cases, impose strict punishments for the defaulters, such as huge fines or even imprisonment. Thus, government support is necessary for fighting against pollution.
The
government
should
get
up from a long slumber and initiate a
government
-sponsored awareness campaign.
Hopefully
, we can raise awareness among the public through an effective advertising campaign that could warn the
people
of the
dangers
of pollution. We can do that by disseminating flyers and brochures which outline the drawbacks. We should
also
include a new subject in the curriculum to teach young pupils about the perils of pollution and teach them how they can as individuals
prevent
it.
In addition
to that, policymakers should introduce new laws and regulations which restrict car usage
as well
as ensure that the public will follow them and, in
some
cases, impose strict punishments for the defaulters, such as huge fines or even imprisonment.
Thus
,
government
support is necessary for fighting against pollution.
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IELTS essay The environment we live in is in danger due to various problems. What are the underlying causes? Who is responsible to combat this?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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