Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. Do you agree or disagree?

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. 9YQAW
Luck has been an essential part in everyone's life. In this context, there are some people who thinks that gaining success or not just relies on the luck. I partially agree with this given statement and will discuss my viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs along with my opinion and a plausible conclusion. To commence with, there are some reasons why fate plays important role. First and foremost is, some people always prepare for getting good jobs and for this they prepare their resumes and do a lot of struggle in order to get in good occupation, but at the same time there are some people who do not need to do all these kind of things as they meet unexpectedly to business owners and get appointed by them. As a result, luck is the only thing which give chances to many people to achieve their goal. Secondly, there are a number of people who get birth in privileged family so they have the opportunity to grow with the adequate things since they have many facilities in order to grow. For instance, Mark Zuckerberg is one of the american's famous billionaire, who was born in wealthy family and he had all the amenities, moreover there parents appoint a personal tutor for him to provide him knowledge when he is in his academics. This, he becomes a successful businessman. On the other side, it is saying that if luck was there then everyone would get everything. There are many other factors which contribute to attain goal. To begin with, hardwork and determination is the key to success. Everyone can achieve their desires if they keep on working and trying. This is due to the fact that students who focus on their studies and do a lot of hardwork it is likely that they achieve their goal in their life. For example, well-known scientists are known for exploring the unknown world with determination and constant trials after failure. It would not be possible to know about the world if scientists stopped working. Lastly, there are numerous people who are born in unprivileged family and they do not have all the facilities but they come up with a strong determination and stand independently as only skills and knowledge matters in order to gain anything. For example, according to a research conducted in 2016 in fobes, 100 famous entrepreneur belongs to poor background. To conclude, after discussing the given statement, I believe hardword and determination plays pivotal role in order to get anything in the life.
Luck has been an essential part in everyone's life. In this context, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "think"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
thinks
that gaining success or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
relies on the luck. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and will discuss my viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs along with my opinion and a plausible conclusion.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why fate plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.
First
and foremost is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always prepare for getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs and for this they prepare their resumes and do
Possible agreement error. The noun struggle seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of struggles".
a lot of struggle
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
occupation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not need to do all
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of things as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
unexpectedly
to business owners and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
appointed by them.
As a result
, luck is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing which give chances to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve their goal.
Secondly
, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
birth in privileged family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have the opportunity to grow with the adequate things since they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to grow.
For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg is one of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
american
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
billionaire,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was born
in wealthy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
he had all the amenities,
moreover
there parents appoint a personal tutor for him to provide him knowledge when he is in his academics. This, he becomes a successful businessman.

On the other side, it is saying that if luck was there then everyone would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other factors which contribute to attain goal. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
is the key to success. Everyone can achieve their desires if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on working and trying.
This is due to the fact that
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
focus on their studies and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
it is likely that they achieve their goal in their life.
For example
, well-known scientists
are known
for exploring the unknown world with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
and constant trials after failure. It would not be possible to know about the world if scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working.
Lastly
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are born
in unprivileged
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they do not have all the facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
and stand
independently
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge matters in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to gain anything.
For example
, according to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted in 2016 in
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "fobs", the plural form of the noun 'fob'?
fobes
, 100
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible agreement error. The noun 'entrepreneur' seems to be countable, so consider using: "entrepreneurs".
entrepreneur
belongs to poor background.

To conclude
, after discussing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, I believe
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardword
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
plays pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anything in the life.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. Do you agree or disagree?