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Whether or not someone acheive their aim is mostly by a question of luck .To what extend so you agree or disagree

Whether or not someone acheive their aim is mostly by a question of luck. To what extend so you agree or disagree V0756
In pervious time if anyone did not acheive desire thing then they tried to claim theri destiny behind it. However, people change their mindset and realise if anyone want to acheive something then it needs pretty efforts. Therefore, I strongly disagree with mentioned statement. Many decades ago, people often blame their luck if they failed in their task. however, with time plenty of people started to educate themselves. Therefore, they understood the importance of efforts. Furthermore, they realise if a person put their everything in their work then they definitely able to complete their goals. Moreover, it is just a myth thay people need luck to fulfill their desire. Apart from all this many entrepreneurs influence community to work hard through their acheivements. However there are still many groups of people who are just believe in their luck to be successful. However, sometimes luck is also needed to complete aims. But this happen only in rare cases. Furthermore, hard work is a key to success according to me. I believe with great concentration as well as day-night efforts a person can change their whole further journey of life. Moreover, many opulent claimed that anyone can able to transfer their destiny in wealthy way by willingly focus in their function. Along with, there were many freedom fighters who had pretty contribution in freedom of nation. Moreover, they taught residents to believe in themselves as well as in their work to stand on their dream. In conclusion, i would like to say that, luck is needed to claim something in life however, not necessarily. Furthermore, hard work and destiny have 95 and 5 ratio in a person's life. Moreover, community has to brain stroming and starts to believing in efforts. As by only hard work they can able to be a person who can bring a good change for nation.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
pervious
time if anyone did not
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
desire thing then they tried to claim
Possible spelling mistake found.
theri
destiny behind it.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mindset and
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
if anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
something then it needs pretty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
disagree with mentioned statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
decades ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
blame their luck if they failed in their task.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, with time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to educate themselves.
Therefore
, they understood the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
.
Furthermore
, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
if a person put their everything in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
definitely able to complete their goals.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a myth
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need luck to fulfill their desire. Apart from all this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
entrepreneurs influence community to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
through their
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheivements
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
believe in their luck to be successful.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
luck is
also
needed to complete aims.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
The verb 'happen' is plural. Did you mean: "this happens"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this happen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in rare cases.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a key to success according to me. I believe with great concentration
as well
as day-night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their whole
further
journey of life.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opulent claimed that anyone
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
transfer their destiny in wealthy way by
willingly
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
their function. Along with, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
freedom fighters who had pretty contribution in freedom of nation.
Moreover
, they taught residents to believe in themselves
as well
as in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to stand on their dream.
In conclusion
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to say that, luck
is needed
to claim something in life
however
, not
necessarily
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and destiny have 95 and 5
Possible agreement error. The noun 'ratio' seems to be countable, so consider using: "ratios".
ratio
in a person's life.
Moreover
, community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
brain
Possible spelling mistake found.
stroming
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to believing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
. As by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
be a person who can bring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for nation.
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IELTS essay Whether or not someone acheive their aim is mostly by a question of luck. To what extend so you agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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