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Friendship is more important to children than it is to adults.

Friendship is more important to children than it is to adults. pbjmL
Some people believe that friendship is critically substantial for children, however, some indiviudals feel that companionship is more important for grown up people. I disagree that friendship is more vital for children than it is to grown up person. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, friendship in adults provide an opportunity to help each other in their difficult time, this is because they face the real world. To be specific, people need some close friends in their difficult times, however, children's friendship is limited till pay grounds and gossiping. My own example is a compelling illustration of this, when I was pursuing my master's in Biotechnology, and I was facing financial issues at that time, as I was not getting my scholarship. Moreover, my family was facing financial trouble at the same time. On the other hand, I had to pay my tusion fee. Because of this reasons, I was feeling terrible situation, subsequently, one of my old best freinds called me from the USA and I discussed my issue with him. Since he was working so he told me he will help me send me money for my education. Furthermore, not only he transferred my fees in my account but also he was helping me to come out form this problem. Because of him I was able to finished my graduation and I was feeling relaxed. As you can see from my example, people admire and maintain friendship in their adulthood and they also helped in the diffiuclt times. Secondly, freindship in the adulthood is necessary, as friends provide valuable suggestions whenever require. In other words, people maintains friendship, which allows them to provide valuble suggestion related to the real life problem. On the other hand, childhood friendship is limited to the fantesies and toys. From my example, two years ago when I was pursuing my doctorate degree in the Biotechnology at that time I had to do tedious experiments at that time one of our lab mate and she was my best friend, when I was facing problems in the result's she helped me alot to complete my experiment, and also I was new in the doctorate program I was not aware about the sicntific community and how to publish the publication at that time she helped me to understand the publications. If I had not have a friend in the university, I would have not published my data with the help of my friend. In conclusion, friendship is more important for adults and adulthood frindships are long last. This is because, a real companion help us in our difficult time when we grown up, and adulthood frindship always provide vaulable suggestion than childhood friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
is
critically
substantial for children,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
indiviudals
feel that companionship is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for grown up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
is more vital for children than it is
Did you mean "too"?
to
grown up person. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
in adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in their difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they face the real world. To be specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in their difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
however
, children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
is limited
till pay grounds and gossiping. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
example is a compelling illustration of this, when I was pursuing my master's in Biotechnology, and I was facing financial issues at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, as I was not getting my scholarship.
Moreover
, my family was facing financial trouble at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I had to pay my
Possible spelling mistake found.
tusion
fee.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
reasons, I was feeling terrible situation,
subsequently
, one of my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
best
Possible spelling mistake found.
freinds
called me from the USA and I discussed my issue with him. Since he was working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me he will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me money for my education.
Furthermore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
he transferred my fees in my account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
he was helping me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out form this problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of him I was able to finished my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
graduation and
I was feeling relaxed. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from my example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
admire and maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
adulthood and
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffiuclt
times.

Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
freindship
in the adulthood is necessary, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
valuable suggestions whenever require. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
maintains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
valuble
suggestion related to the real life problem. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
is limited
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fantesies
and toys. From my example, two years ago when I was pursuing my doctorate degree in the Biotechnology at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I had to do tedious experiments at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
one of our lab
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mate and
she was my best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, when I was facing problems in the result's she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
to complete my experiment, and
also
I was new in the doctorate program I was not aware about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sicntific
community and how to publish the publication at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to understand the publications. If I had not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "had".
have
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in the university, I would have not published my data with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of my friend.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for adults and adulthood
Possible spelling mistake found.
frindships
are long last. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, a real companion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us in our difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when
It seems that a verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here. Please verify.
we grown
up, and adulthood
Possible spelling mistake found.
frindship
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
vaulable
suggestion than childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.

IELTS essay Friendship is more important to children than it is to adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
459 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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