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communication is less between family members of late

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Nowadays communication between family members started to decrease. It is all because of internet advancement, tight working or just being neutral to your family. And I think about this writing this essay, I realize that there’s no one except relatives around and we all should spend every time with our parents. So I am going to discuss my agreement with that now communication is less.    To begin with, due to the unprecedented advancement in technology, the internet has become boon for everyone which has increased the rate of  communication significantly. It means, people spend far more time in phone calls and video calls than in the past. However, person can be in touch with his family while being on his workplace or from distant places.    Therefore, the Internet has helped many of today's people who are away from their home, and home is where loved ones are nearby they stay in touch with their parents and siblings in every now and then.
Nowadays communication between family members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decrease. It is all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of internet advancement, tight working or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
being neutral to your family. And I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about this writing this essay, I realize that there’s no one except relatives
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
around and
we all should spend every time with our parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I am going to discuss my agreement with that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
communication is less.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, due to the unprecedented advancement in technology, the internet has become boon for everyone which has increased the rate of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
communication
significantly
. It means,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend far more time in phone calls and video calls than in the past.
However
, person can be in touch with his family while being on his workplace or from distant places.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
Therefore
, the Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are away from their home, and home is where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones are nearby they stay in touch with their parents and siblings in every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then.
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IELTS essay communication is less between family members of late

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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