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When you give money to charitable organizations, do you prefer to choose how the donation will be used (e.g., donate money on food or service) or leave the decision to the organizations?

It has been a controversial subject among people whether they should know how charities use the donation or not. Some people believe that the best way to help needy people, to ask charities to spend their donation in the way they think is the best, but others think charitable organizations should decide how the donation will be used. I personally believe with the latter group because of two main reasons which I will explore below. First, in this day and age of high prices of goods and services, it's so hard to prepare basic necessities of life for whose people of poor financial background. Authorities by the establishment of charitable organizations in society can help impoverished people to provide some of the basic necessities of their life. Today some people want to participate in these charitable practices. One of the best ways is to give money to that institutes and leave the decision to them to the organization that money. Because these institutions completely know needy peoples in society, therefore they can make a better decision, so we can make sure and satisfied that our financial support or other aids will reach the right hand and needy people. Second, charitable foundations can collect charitable donations and solve the big problems of needy people. That's better we give our money to them and they gathered these money and use them for solving problems, which are need for a lot of money. For instance, we have charity institutes in our city. My family and all the people in the neighborhood give money to them. So, they gather that money and spend it to buy dowry or a house for the needy people. If everyone wants to help according to his own decision and opinion, it is beyond the scope of one person to do such great things, and such problems will remain in society. In conclusion, it would be more beneficial and logical if you let charities choose how your donations will be used to help people. This is because not only will reach the right hand through our financial support, but also they will solve the big problems of poor people.
It has been a controversial subject among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whether they should know how
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charities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
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donation
or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
believe that the best way to
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, to ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
in the way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is the best,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charitable
organizations should decide how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. I
personally
believe with the latter group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main reasons which I will explore below.

First
, in this day and age of high prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to prepare
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of life for whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of poor financial background. Authorities by the establishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charitable
organizations in society can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to provide
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of their life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to participate in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charitable
practices. One of the best ways is to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to that institutes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the decision to them to the organization that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
these institutions completely know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
in society,
therefore
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure and satisfied that our financial support or other aids will reach the right hand and
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needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Second,
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charitable
foundations can collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
and solve the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. That's better we give our
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money
to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they gathered these
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money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for solving
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problems
, which
are need
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
institutes in our city. My family and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the neighborhood give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they gather that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and spend it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
dowry or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If everyone wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
according to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision and opinion, it is beyond the scope of one person to do such great things, and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
will remain in society.

In conclusion
, it would be more beneficial and logical if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
choose how your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will reach the right hand through our financial support,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they will solve the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay When you give money to charitable organizations, do you prefer to choose how the donation will be used (e. g. , donate money on food or service) or leave the decision to the organizations?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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