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When you are in a group, you must follow this group’s rules. It is same in society. Citizens live in country with some rules.

When you are in a group, you must follow this group’s rules. It is same in society. Citizens live in country with some rules. oEAmV
When you are in a group, you must follow this group’s rules. It is same in society. Citizens live in country with some rules. Governments must provide peace and harmony to them. Some of individuals have some anti-social behaviours, which are unexceptable for community. Society are blamed by people; However, it is not guilty. Unordinal acting is result of rising in bad family. Governments and social organisations must deal with these problem. Background of all problems start in young age. Families are responsable to young age of individual. Raising enviroment is critical for humans. For example, when parents are saperate, child can affect baddly. In addition to that, parents must be careful in front of the children, because they are mirrored by their children. Parents should teach to social rules to the their sons and daughers, if not they cannot fit the society. That is why, parents are key for society. On the other hand, not all of the parents proper for rasing kids; However, schools can teach them law abiding citizens. If a child get a well education, they will be decent person. Normally a well-educated people does not involve any crime. For instance, when somenone has better education level, they would have less traffic tickets. If someone did not finish primary school, they are in the prison a 50 percents chance. This shows importance of education. In conclusion, some people can have bad attitutes, as a result of bad parents; However, we can create a good society for everyone in schools.
When you are in a group, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow this group’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. It is same in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in country with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide peace and harmony to them.
After 'Some of', you should use 'the' ("Some of the individuals") or simply say "Some individuals".
Some of individuals
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
unexceptable
for community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
are blamed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
;
However
, it is not guilty.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unordinal
acting is result of rising in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
family.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and social
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
deal with
Did you mean "this problem" or "these problems"?
these problem
.

Background of all problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in young age. Families are
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsable
to young age of individual. Raising
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
is critical for humans.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
saperate
, child can affect
Possible spelling mistake found.
baddly
.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be careful in front of the children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are mirrored
by their children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should teach to social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their sons" or "the sons"?
the their sons
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
daughers
, if not they cannot fit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are key for society.

On the other hand
, not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
proper for
Possible spelling mistake found.
rasing
kids;
However
, schools can teach them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
law abiding
citizens. If a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well education, they will be decent person.
Normally
a well-educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not involve any crime.
For instance
, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
somenone
has better education level, they would have less traffic tickets. If someone did not finish primary school, they are in the prison a 50 percents chance. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
importance of education.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
attitutes
,
as a result
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
;
However
, we can create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
for everyone in schools.

IELTS essay When you are in a group, you must follow this group’s rules. It is same in society. Citizens live in country with some rules.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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