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Children should live with their parents for as long as possible.

Children should live with their parents for as long as possible. 53qqV
The more young people live with their parents, the more challenging will be for them to get used to the independent life later. Considering this, in my opinion, it would be better for children to not live with their parents for a long time because they can learn less about the hard lessons of life, do not have their own space and privacy and have unwelcome advice from their parents. Firstly, those people who move alone at a young age learn more about the hard lessons of life. By living with your parents, you get used to solving any problem through their help. The downside of this is that you cannot get more experience to solve problems on your own, and therefore it might be difficult to going through a difficult situation when you become independent. My own experience is an example of this, I had lived with my parents for 28 years until I move alone, I remember how hard was for me to overcome daily problems from how to do the laundry to pay my bills. Secondly, As soon as you leave your parent's house you will enjoy having more space and privacy. Because your parents are the owner of the house, you have to adapt to their rules that you might not agree with. Moreover, you have to respect your parent's privacy and space. For instance, whenever I wanted to study or take a nap my dad used to watch television at a high volume, It was so difficult for me to focus or to rest because of the loud noise, however, although I asked him to turn the volume down He complained. Last but not least, By living alone you can avoid unwelcomed advice from your parents. In the majority of the case, parents tend to see you as a child even though you are an adult, therefore, they want to control your life and be tempting to tell you what you should do My experience is a clear example of this as well, When I wanted to buy my first car my parents started to look for better prices and brands, I was thankful to them until my father wanted me to obligate to buy the one that was more convenient form him without taking into consideration my preferences Indeed, I believe that the best thing children can do is to become independent from their parents as soon as possible because this would help them to have more experience to face the difficult situations of life, enjoy more time for themselves and avoid unnecessary advice from their parents.
The more young
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, the more challenging will be for them to
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get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
later. Considering this, in my opinion, it would be better for children to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for a long time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can learn less about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
lessons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
space and privacy and have unwelcome advice from their parents.

Firstly
, those
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
alone at a young age learn more about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
lessons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. By living with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solving any problem through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. The downside of this is that you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to solve problems on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, and
therefore
it might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
to going through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
situation when you become independent. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is an example of this, I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for 28 years until I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
alone, I remember how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
was for me to overcome daily problems from how to do the laundry to pay my bills.

Secondly
, As
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soon
as you
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leave
your parent's
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house
you will enjoy having more space and privacy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
your
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parents
are the owner of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adapt to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that you might not
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agree
with.
Moreover
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
respect your parent's privacy and space.
For instance
, whenever I wanted to study or take a nap my dad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television at a high volume, It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
for me to focus or to rest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the loud noise,
however
, although I asked him to turn the volume down He complained.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, By living alone you can avoid
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwelcomed
advice from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In the majority of the case,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you as a child
even though
you are an adult,
therefore
, they want to control your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and be tempting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you what you should do My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of this
as well
, When I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
my
first
car my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to look for better prices and brands, I was thankful to them until my father wanted me to obligate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the one that was more convenient form him without taking into consideration my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
preferences


Indeed
, I believe that the best thing children can do is to become
The usual collocation for "independent" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independent of"?
independent from
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to face the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
situations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, enjoy more time for themselves and avoid unnecessary advice from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay Children should live with their parents for as long as possible.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
433 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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