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When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university.

When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university. 6adkl
Some teenage students face this kind of dilemma, whether to choose to study higher education or to be independent and to start work right after schooling. I believe that a student after school has to get into a good university. Option of getting into a job after schooling has many attractive reasons to it. On the one hand, student could earn an average amount of money to look after himself and become independent. As a young person with less amount of skill right after school has an ample amount of time and age to learn various skills and end up with lot of experience in many fields. As on younger age, person could try out new jobs and span out his social network in the society. Teenagers now are taking humongous risks out in the world by using their skills in diverse fields and settling down early in their age. Moreover, they are ready to form a family and start investing in their future in early stages, provides them a fruitful life with himself or with his family. On the other hand, higher education is the most beneficial way to secure their future right after the school. Some jobs require academic knowledge to work upon. As an graduate from college he as wide range of job opportunities in this huge work market, with some hard work after schooling could land a person into a some prestigious company which could yield good pay scale. However, graduate job market is a very competitive. Acquiring a good job designation, this could help an individual to be recognised as an useful member of this society. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to become successful in their lives if they continue to study further after their school level.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
face this kind of dilemma, whether to choose to study higher education or to be independent and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
right after schooling. I believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
university.

Option of getting into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after schooling has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attractive reasons to it. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
could earn an average amount of money to look after himself and become independent. As a young person with less amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
right after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has an ample amount of time and age to learn various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
experience in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields. As on younger age, person could try out new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and span out his social network in the society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are taking humongous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
out in the world by using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in diverse fields and settling down early in their age.
Moreover
, they are ready to form a family and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
investing in their future in early stages, provides them a fruitful life with himself or with his family.

On the other hand
, higher education is the most beneficial way to secure their future right after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require academic knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
upon. As
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
graduate from college he as wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities in this huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
market, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after schooling could land a person into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prestigious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which could yield
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pay scale.
However
, graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive. Acquiring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
designation, this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an individual to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
useful member of this society.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more likely to become successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
if they continue to study
further
after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level.
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IELTS essay When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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