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WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE BE MADE TO RETIRE? 55? 65? SHOULD THERE BE A COMPULSORY AGE LIMIT?

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE BE MADE TO RETIRE? 55? 65? SHOULD THERE BE A COMPULSORY AGE LIMIT? pXnK0
Many countries, companies, and corporations have assigned a certain age for its people or employees to retire. However, many people may argue that older people are more likely to have more experience than those who are young. Since experience can be considered as a valuable asset in various working fields, such people should not be forced to quit their jobs. This may bring up the question whether there should or should not be a certain age for retirement. Firstly, many corporations believes that it is better for them to have someone who is old but has multiple years experience to run their business. However, this cannot be applied to many working fields. Although such senile people may have more experience than other workers, yet they cannot produce as much effort as a younger employee. Nevertheless, it is scientifically believed that the human brain loses a fair percentage of its efficacy at a certain age. This may cause older people to have less concentration and therefor less job output. Secondly, hiring an old person to do a certain job for a long period of time can be unfair to young people who have potential of becoming even better in performing the same job using all the technological advances we are witnessing nowadays. Seniorcitizens may face more difficulties applying such technological breakthroughs to work than younger ones, since they are more likely to perform their work in a bit of a traditional way. Another good point about having a certain age for retirement, is that older people who have been working for most of their lives deserve to get some rest at some point. In other words, it would be very unfair for a working man or a woman to waste all their life working in a non-stop pattern. their should be a time where they are allowed to rest. This is why many people nowadays are looking forward to retire, especially with the hectic life style we all are living now. All in all, I think that it is better to have a defined age for old people to stop working. This way they get a chance to rest, and enjoy a peaceful life, and also give the way for new blood to get their opportunity to prove their true capabilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and corporations have assigned a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or employees to retire.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may argue that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are young. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
can
be considered
as a valuable asset in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
fields, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
be forced
to quit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This may bring up
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question".
the question whether
there should or should not be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for retirement.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
corporations believes that it is better for them to have someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has multiple years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to run their business.
However
, this cannot
be applied
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
fields. Although such senile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
than other workers,
yet
they cannot produce as much effort as a younger employee.
Nevertheless
, it is
scientifically
believed that the human brain loses a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
percentage of its efficacy at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This may cause older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have less concentration and therefor less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
output.

Secondly
, hiring an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
person to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for a long period of time can be unfair to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have potential of becoming even better in performing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
using all the technological advances we are witnessing nowadays.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Seniorcitizens
may face more difficulties applying such technological breakthroughs to work than younger ones, since they are more likely to perform their work in a bit of a traditional way.

Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
point about having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for retirement, is that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for most of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
deserve to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point.
In other words
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfair for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or a woman to waste all their life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
pattern.
Did you mean "there"?
their
should be a
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to rest. This is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are looking forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to retiring".
to retire
,
especially
with the hectic life style we all are living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

All in all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to have a defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. This way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to rest, and enjoy a peaceful life, and
also
give the way for new blood to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their opportunity to prove their true capabilities.
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IELTS essay WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE BE MADE TO RETIRE? 55? 65? SHOULD THERE BE A COMPULSORY AGE LIMIT?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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