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When people move to another country some of them decided to follow their customs of some new countries other people prefer to keep their own culture compare both views and give your opinion.

When people move to another country some of them decided to follow their customs of some new countries other people prefer to keep their own culture compare both views and give your opinion. dq6M2
In modern era everyone move to foreign countries there are numerous of who who moved to abroad and number of citizen decided to living their and adapt the culture of aboard. On the contrary few people prefer to follow their own culture living in other nation I will discuss both view and will give me your pain in subsequent paragraphs. To embark with with first point of view there are numerous of people who go to another country to elaborate it a number of citizen go to another nation to continue their studies and work however they leave their around 2 to 4 years and under the influence of their culture the fall of foreign custom and living according to foreign nation the result is that they forget their on culture and tradition they do not attack their on culture by living in other nation moreover the mother tongue is also change their use language (way of communication) which is related to other country. Moving further which S point of view numerous individuals they move to abroad for fulfill their desired do not forget their culture and tradition owing the fact that with living in other countries the living according to their native customer for example when a girl living in foreign she used to wear the traditional clothes instead of Western clothes the result is that numerous people do not forget their custom by living in abroad. To sum up a number of people they moved to abroad they follow their custom of another nation few of them follow their own culture in another nation.
In modern era everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "moves", "moved".
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numerous
of
Possible typo: you repeated a word
who who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
and number of citizen decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
their and adapt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of aboard.
On the contrary
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
I will discuss both view and will give me your pain in subsequent paragraphs. To embark
Possible typo: you repeated a word
with with
first
point of view there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numerous
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who go to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to elaborate it a number of citizen go to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to continue their studies and work
however
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their around 2 to 4 years and under the influence of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
the fall of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
custom and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
the result is that they forget their on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition they do not attack their on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
moreover
the mother tongue is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "changed".
change
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
language (way of communication) which
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Moving
further
which S point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numerous
individuals they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for fulfill their desired do not forget their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition owing the fact that with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
according to their native customer
for example
when a girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wear the traditional clothes
instead
of Western clothes the result is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not forget their custom by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. To sum up a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
they follow their custom of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
few of them follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
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IELTS essay When people move to another country some of them decided to follow their customs of some new countries other people prefer to keep their own culture compare both views and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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