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When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country.

When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. x2d5b
Every country have its own customs and cultures, and people of that country follow them. Moreover, every year a large amount of emigrants move to another country and also follow the traditions of that nation, however, some of the emigrants prefer to follow only their own traditions. On the one hand, learning a new traditions helps newcomers to get used in the new place, above that it aid people to make friends, and learn new things. For example, language is very important. If emigrants don’t understand the foreign language they will not be able to communicate with anyone in that country. Also they should learn many things, such as national cuisine, traditional holidays and etc. This will help newcomers to acclimitise in the new place. On the other hand, if we limit ourselfs only with our own customs and culture, we will not be able to get used it the foreign country. Firstly, we should follow their customs to make ourselfs comfortable. Secondly, if you do not know about cultural norms, it will be difficult to live there. In addition, it helps newcomers to become the part of the society. Aside from this, people should not forget about their own customs and culture, otherwise, their nation will disappear. In conclusion, in my point of view, emigrants should follow the traditions of the foreign country, therefore, they should not forget their own culture, in order to to keep the cultural heritage that hands down from generation to generation.
Every
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country
have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs and
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cultures
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of that
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country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them.
Moreover
, every year a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "moves"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'move' is not always incorrect.)
move
to another
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country
and
also
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follow
the traditions of that nation,
however
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditions.

On the one hand, learning a
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new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "tradition"?
traditions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
newcomers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place, above that it aid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends, and learn
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new
things.
For example
, language is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
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emigrants
don’t understand the foreign language they will not be able to communicate with anyone in that
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country
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things, such as national cuisine, traditional holidays
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
newcomers to
Possible spelling mistake found.
acclimitise
in the
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new
place.

On the other hand
, if we limit
Possible spelling mistake found.
ourselfs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs and
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culture
, we will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it the foreign
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country
.
Firstly
, we should
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follow
their customs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
ourselfs
comfortable.
Secondly
, if you do not know about cultural norms, it will be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there.
In addition
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
newcomers to become the part of the society. Aside from this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not forget about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
otherwise
, their nation will disappear.

In conclusion
, in my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the traditions of the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
therefore
, they should not forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, in order
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the cultural heritage that hands down from generation to generation.
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IELTS essay When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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