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parents should be punished for having obese children

parents should be punished for having obese children 95RNn
The prevalence of obesity among teens has been soaring for a few decades since the over-consumption of high dense fat and sugar-based foods which are poor in nutritious facts as well as a sedentary mode of living. However, it is undeniable that parents are the culprit of not directing their loving kids to a better life with good health, being the mentor of the young generation. In my perspective, I positively agree with the statement and support my argument accordingly with the examples below. To begin with, the addiction to processed foods that are filled with thicker fatty substances can be scrutinized as the major reason behind the increasing obesity of youth who are having an upward tendency in consuming these foods. That means, their parents are allowing sufficient space for such activities without any reluctance because the working proportion of parents are direly tired at night and compel to order fast foods outside as a habitual unavoidable condition. Researchers have unveiled that the obese percentage of below-aged five children has been on the rise dramatically over the last five years. Hence, it is a parental obligation to take immediate steps to refrain from such a detrimental impact on the young generation. Apart from the unhealthy calory intake, the next most probable detrimental impact might be the sedentary lifestyle of children. The addiction to computer gaming, watching television, chatting, roaming, and surfing on the net are few examples where they idle without any active movements which further adversely affect their ill-health; non-communicable diseases such as heart attacks, diabetes, blood pressure, or strokes will be the repercussion of being spent sedentary for a long time. Therefore, parents should accompany their children to amusement parks where there is spacious nature to engage in jogging, running, skipping and more other work-out at least once a week if they wish the youth to be healthy in the future. Having considered the above-explained prominent factors, to sum up, it is undeniable that parents are the first teachers of every child whom should be directed for a better future through meticulous guiding, training, and exemplary behavior. If all the mothers and fathers had done their duty well, the above discussed devastating impact could have been avoided through regular exercise and eating quality foods.
The prevalence of obesity among teens has been soaring for a few decades since the over-consumption of high dense
fat
and sugar-based
foods
which are poor in nutritious facts
as well
as a sedentary mode of living.
However
, it is undeniable that
parents
are the culprit of not directing their loving kids to a better life with
good
health, being the mentor of the young generation. In my perspective, I
positively
agree
with the statement and support my argument
accordingly
with the examples below.

To
begin
with, the addiction to processed
foods
that
are filled
with thicker fatty substances can
be scrutinized
as the major reason behind the increasing obesity of youth who are having an upward tendency in consuming these
foods
. That means, their
parents
are allowing sufficient space for such activities without any reluctance
because
the working proportion of
parents
are
direly
tired at night and compel to order
fast
foods
outside as a habitual unavoidable condition. Researchers have unveiled that the obese percentage of below-aged five children has been on the rise
dramatically
over the last five years.
Hence
, it is a parental obligation to take immediate steps to refrain from such a detrimental impact on the young generation.

Apart from the unhealthy
calory
intake, the
next
most probable detrimental impact might be the sedentary lifestyle of children. The addiction to computer gaming, watching television, chatting, roaming, and surfing on the net are few examples where they idle without any active movements which
further
adversely
affect their ill-health; non-communicable diseases such as heart attacks, diabetes, blood pressure, or strokes will be the repercussion of
being spent
sedentary for a long time.
Therefore
,
parents
should accompany their children to amusement parks where there is spacious nature to engage in jogging, running, skipping and more other work-out at least once a week if they wish the youth to be healthy in the future.

Having considered the above-
explained
prominent factors, to sum up, it is undeniable that
parents
are the
first
teachers of every child whom should
be directed
for a better future through meticulous guiding, training, and exemplary behavior. If all the mothers and fathers had done their duty well, the above discussed devastating impact could have
been avoided
through regular exercise and eating quality
foods
.
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IELTS essay parents should be punished for having obese children

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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