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When people live in foreign country ,they should follow local traditions and customs.

When people live in foreign country, they should follow local traditions and customs. 0pmLl
Non-native residents should follow the traditions and customs. I completely agree and I will elucidate my viewpoint with following arguments. One nuance that should be taken into consideration is the fact that on the one hand, in order to being accepted by people from that country, foreigners must change their behavior to fit in. people will have better cross-cultural understanding if they follow the rules. More over, if they care about traditional festivals and customs of following country, it leads to decrese the anti-social and aggressive behavior. On the other hand, in order to persuade people to respect to non-native dwellers and decrease discrimination, foreigners should act in a way, which is respectfull. For example, if we travel to korea and have hold an intention to stay there, we should learn how to bow to old-aged folks. admittedly, how to use chopstick or for example, if foreigners want to live in iran, they should wear hijab or they will be at the risk of losing their job and home and back to their native country. In conclusion, people should have a sense of responsibility when they want to live in other countries.
Non-native residents should follow the traditions and customs. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and I will elucidate my viewpoint with following arguments.

One nuance that should
be taken
into consideration is the fact that on the one hand, in order to
Did you mean "be"?
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from that country, foreigners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their behavior to fit in.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have better cross-cultural understanding if they follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. More over, if they care about traditional festivals and customs of following country, it leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
decrese
the anti-social and aggressive behavior.

On the other hand
, in order to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to respect to non-native dwellers and decrease discrimination, foreigners should act in a way, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectfull
.
For example
, if we travel to
Possible spelling mistake found.
korea
and have hold an intention to stay there, we should learn how to bow to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-aged folks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
admittedly
, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
chopstick or
for example
, if foreigners want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
iran
, they should wear
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hijab or
they will be at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing their job and home and back to their native country.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have a sense of responsibility when they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in other countries.
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IELTS essay When people live in foreign country, they should follow local traditions and customs.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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