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In order to reduce crime in the long term, alternative methods of punishment must be found such as education and community service. How far do you agree?

In order to reduce crime in the long term, alternative methods of punishment must be found such as education and community service. How far do you agree? xDbjN
It is a well-known fact that over recent years the prison is the most common form of punishment for a plethora of crimes. However, I believe that there are alternative ways of punishment for minor offenders, such as education and community services. In this essay, I will justify my viewpoint using relevant supporting evidence and examples. One way to support my viewpoint is that education is an effective way of reducing crime in the long term. Prisons should focus on providing education and vocational training for inmates to make them better citizens and help them to find employment. Consequently, when these people are released, it will be easier for them to find a job and in this way the chance of reoffending is reduced. Another way to reduce crime is the community service as an alternative to imprisonment or fines. Community service is a way to reform offenders which makes them useful for the local community as they are providing a service such as cleaning streets or maintaining public buildings. Recent statistics have proven that community service can help convicts not to reoffend because they interact with low-abiding citizens and remain part of the society. It could be argued that a lot of people are afraid because some of the criminals are not in the prison. Society members do not feel safe because offenders walking free in the streets and the parks. Furthermore, community service is not a strong deterrent and criminals may reoffend. In conclusion, although there may be valid arguments that alternative methods of punishment may cause fear in society, I am inclined to believe that practices such as education and community service can reduce crime in the long term. Therefore, the whole punishment system needs to be changed so that imprisonment is not the only way of compliance for offenders.
It is a well-known fact that
over recent years the prison is the most common form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
However
, I believe that there are alternative ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. In this essay, I will justify my viewpoint using relevant supporting evidence and examples.

One way to support my viewpoint is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is an effective way of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the long term. Prisons should focus on providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and vocational training for inmates to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them better citizens and
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help them find"?
help them to find
employment.
Consequently
, when these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are released
, it will be easier for them to find a job and in this way the chance of
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffending
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as an alternative to imprisonment or fines.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is a way to reform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them useful for the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
as they are providing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
such as cleaning streets or maintaining public buildings. Recent statistics have proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
convicts not to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they interact with low-abiding citizens and remain part of the society.

It could
be argued
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are afraid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
criminals are not in the prison. Society members do not feel safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
walking free in the streets and the parks.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is not a strong deterrent and criminals may
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
.

In conclusion
, although there may be valid arguments that alternative methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
may cause fear in society, I
am inclined
to believe that practices such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the long term.
Therefore
, the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
system needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that imprisonment is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way of compliance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
.
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IELTS essay In order to reduce crime in the long term, alternative methods of punishment must be found such as education and community service. How far do you agree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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