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Incresed travelling gives a great opporynity

Incresed travelling gives a great opporynity 8g0DP
A group of people believe that increased travelling around the world give a great opportunity to know more about different nations, while another group of population assert that it can be a reason of increased tension between cultures in many counties. Two sides of these viewpoints will be discussed in my following essay and personal opinion will be given. On the one hand, our century gives us a great possibility to learn something new about countries with a fantastic past and present. Nowadays, modern people are able to fly from one county to another by buying a plane ticket and by using that opportunity people can see how other nations live and know more about their traditions, culture, religion and many other things. If we go back thousands of years, it is noticeable that nobody could freely go to territories of other counties and even more so to fly there. For instance, without seeing how other nations live Russian people would not have known what is yurt or Kazakh nation would ton have known what is vodka. On the other hand, tourists could be a real problem for local nations because most hikers contaminate streets with pollution and they do not even think that it could be a real problem because the came to have a rest. Local volunteers are still struggling with such tourist and rubbish they throw. Another problem could be a simple disrespecting to natives from tourists. As I mentioned before, many hikers contaminate locals' territories and by doing that they express their disrespection and also sometimes, tourists make riots and provoke locals for crimes. To summarize, magnification journeys could be a great chance to find out something new from another cultures and increased tension between locals and tourists could be fixed by expressing respect to each other. Personally, our century helps us to learn more that our ancestors knew and I think it is a fantastic opportunity to open your mind.
A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that increased travelling around the world give a great opportunity to know more about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, while another group of population assert that it can be a reason of increased tension between cultures in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
counties. Two sides of these viewpoints will
be discussed
in my following essay and personal opinion will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On the one hand, our century gives us a great possibility to learn something new about countries with a fantastic past and present. Nowadays, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
fly
from one county to another by buying a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
ticket and by using that opportunity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and know more about their traditions, culture, religion and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. If we go back thousands of years, it is noticeable that nobody could
freely
go to territories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
counties and even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to
fly
there.
For instance
, without seeing how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Russian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not have known what is yurt or Kazakh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
would ton have known what is vodka.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
could be a real problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most hikers contaminate streets with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pollution and
they do not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it could be a real problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the came to have a rest.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
volunteers are
still
struggling with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
and rubbish they throw. Another problem could be a simple disrespecting to natives from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. As I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hikers contaminate locals' territories and by doing that they express their
Possible spelling mistake found.
disrespection
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
riots and provoke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
for crimes.

To summarize
, magnification journeys could be a great chance to find out something new from another cultures and increased tension between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
by expressing respect to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Personally
, our century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to learn more that our ancestors knew and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a fantastic opportunity to open your mind.
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IELTS essay Incresed travelling gives a great opporynity

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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