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When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. o0Pq
Some people argue that town planners should have a preference for more parks and gyms to be created than business districts and shopping malls. While I understand the concerns of people who hold this opinion, it seems to me that shopping centers are just as important as parks and gyms in a town. There are reasons why public facilities are crucial to city inhabitants. First of all, they provide suitable spaces and equipment for people to exercise. For example, people can go jogging in the park and play tennis or basketball at the sports stadium. That helps to keep their bodies fit and it also elevates their mood during the day. Besides, parks and sports facilities are good spots for people to socialize with their neighbors. People can connect with others when they are playing sports or talking casually with passers by in the park. A harmonious relationship between residents helps build a caring and friendly neighborhood. Although parks and gyms give the town dwellers all kinds of benefits, I would like to point out the importance of shopping malls to the district. Firstly, a shopping center could make shopping more convenient for the local residents. It would enable them to easily purchase things in town and transport them home with less effort and at lower cost. They would not need to spend extra money on transportation or shipping of the goods. Secondly, a shopping mall can provide employment. Locals can find work in retail, maintenance or security of the mall, hence earning an income to support their families. In conclusion, although parks and sports facilities serve as places for exercise and social activities for city dwellers, I believe that shopping centers are equally important, since they can provide job opportunities and convenience to the town residents.
Some
people
argue that
town
planners should have a preference for more
parks
and gyms to
be created
than business districts and
shopping
malls
. While I understand the concerns of
people
who hold this opinion, it seems to me that
shopping
centers are
just
as
important
as
parks
and gyms in a town.

There are reasons why public facilities are crucial to city inhabitants.
First of all
, they provide suitable spaces and equipment for
people
to exercise.
For example
,
people
can go jogging in the
park
and play tennis or basketball at the
sports
stadium. That
helps
to
keep
their bodies fit and it
also
elevates their mood during the day.
Besides
,
parks
and
sports
facilities are
good
spots for
people
to socialize with their neighbors.
People
can connect with others when they are playing
sports
or talking
casually
with
passers by
in the
park
. A harmonious relationship between residents
helps
build a caring and friendly neighborhood.

Although
parks
and gyms give the
town
dwellers all kinds of benefits, I would like to point out the importance of
shopping
malls
to the district.
Firstly
, a
shopping
center could
make
shopping
more convenient for the local residents. It would enable them to
easily
purchase
things in
town
and transport them home with less effort and at lower cost. They would not need to spend extra money on transportation or shipping of the
goods
.
Secondly
, a
shopping
mall
can provide employment. Locals can find work in retail, maintenance or security of the
mall
,
hence
earning an income to support their families.

In conclusion
, although
parks
and
sports
facilities serve as places for exercise and social activities for city dwellers, I believe that
shopping
centers are
equally
important
, since they can provide job opportunities and convenience to the
town
residents.
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IELTS essay When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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