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when it comes to the bringing out method of childrens, opinions are various from one person to another one

when it comes to the bringing out method of childrens, opinions are various from one person to another one 3MdrX
when it comes to the bringing out method of childrens, opinions are various from one person to another one. a controversial question that has been aroused the attention of society is whether parents should have a weekly payment to their offsprings? several experts advocate and others are opposite. as far as I am concerned, I agree with the statement. I will elaborate on my reasons in the following reasons. to begin with, paying weekly leads to personal development. obviously, children should learn different skills before getting mature that help them to have an excellent life and to be more employable in the future. this kind of payment is one of the methods that parents use to improve children's capabilities. it has many benefits that the first and foremost of which is that assists them to be independent. giving money, allow them to do some activity without interfering parent. for example, they independently go to the shop and buy what they need. this not only gives them a sense of independence but also increases self-confidence and boosts the personal relationship. in addition, it causes to learn money management. because if they tend to buy a thing that is extremely expensive, they should save their money and buy no unuseful thing. apart away from the aftermentioned, give money can help for effective education. admittedly, if weekly payment accompanying doing a task, father and mother can teach different abilities such as the responsibility to students. personal experience is a merit example. when I was a kid, my father pays a weekly salary provided that I help clean our house. if I do not carry out my responsibility, my payment decrease. hence they teached me how to be responsible
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the bringing out method of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
, opinions are various from one person to another one.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
controversial question that has
been aroused
the attention of society is whether parents should have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
to their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
several
experts advocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are opposite.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
far as I
am concerned
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. I will elaborate on my reasons in the following reasons.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekly
leads to personal development.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obviously
, children should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting mature that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have an excellent life and to be more employable in the future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
is one of the methods that parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
children's capabilities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits that the
first
and foremost of which is that assists them to be independent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activity without interfering parent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, they
independently
go to the shop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they need.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives them a sense of independence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increases self-confidence and boosts the personal relationship.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, it causes
Did you mean "learning"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
if they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a thing
that is
extremely
expensive, they should save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
no unuseful thing.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
apart
away from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aftermentioned
, give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for effective education.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
admittedly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
accompanying doing a task, father and mother can teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities such as the responsibility to students.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personal
experience is a merit example.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
I was a kid, my father pays a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekly
salary provided that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
clean our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
I do not carry out my responsibility, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
decrease.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
they
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "taught", the past tense form of the verb 'teach'?
teached
me how to be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
responsible
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IELTS essay when it comes to the bringing out method of childrens, opinions are various from one person to another one

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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