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When it comes to the allocation of working vacation, different individuals have different opinions. While some claim that leaders ought to offer at least a month holidays a year to its employees to improve their jobs quality. I completely agree with this view.

Admittedly, it is possibly true that such measure might bring losses to the interests of the company. It is mainly because it would reduce the days of the corporation’s normal operation, therefore, making employers earn less. For example, in China, there are huge online shopping turnover during the double Eleven festival. If assistants have holidays on these days, which would lead shoppers loss a large amount of profits. However, if the negative effects of this practice is more dangerous. This is because it is likely to breed people’s resentment towards work, leading to certain unexpected results such as a number of people quitting their jobs. Then, the reason that I am in this agreeing is that providing enough vacation for staff is a good approach to improve their working efficiency. It is due to the fact that people could release their working pressure and recharge their battery. Then, when they come back to work, they are able to pour more time and energy towards their tasks. In addition, it could also improve the quality of work. The reason is that employees would have more free time to think about their weakness like what abilities they lack and which jobs they are still unfamiliar with, and thus, they could make efforts to improve themselves to get better results of their work. In conclusion, I understand why some people disagree to provide staff with at least four weeks holidays each year, I agree with the opinion that it make workers do better at their jobs.
Admittedly
, it is
possibly
true that such measure might bring losses to the interests of the
company
. It is
mainly
because
it would
reduce
the days of the corporation’s normal operation,
therefore
, making employers earn less.
For example
, in China, there are huge online shopping turnover during the double Eleven
festival
. If assistants have holidays on these days, which would lead shoppers loss a large amount of profits.
However
, if the
negative
effects of this practice is more
dangerous
. This is
because
it is likely to breed
people’s
resentment towards work, leading to certain unexpected results such as a number of
people
quitting their jobs.

Then, the reason that I am in this agreeing is that providing
enough
vacation for staff is a
good
approach to
improve
their working efficiency. It is due to the fact that
people
could release their working pressure and recharge their battery. Then, when they
come
back to work, they are able to pour more time and energy towards their tasks.
In addition
, it could
also
improve
the quality of work. The reason is that employees would have more free time to
think
about their weakness like what abilities they lack and which jobs they are
still
unfamiliar with, and
thus
, they could
make
efforts to
improve
themselves to
get
better results of their work.

In conclusion
, I understand why
some
people
disagree to provide staff with at least four weeks holidays each year, I
agree
with the opinion that it
make
workers do better at their jobs.
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IELTS essay When it comes to the allocation of working vacation, different individuals have different opinions. While some claim that leaders ought to offer at least a month holidays a year to its employees to improve their jobs quality. I completely agree with this view.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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