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Nowadays, there has been a change in family structure as well as roles.

Nowadays, there has been a change in family structure as well as roles. DVddj
Nowadays, the drastic development of economy and society have changed dramatically every aspect of our life, especially in family, not only the fabric but also the family members’ plays. From my perspective, there are considerable merits of these transformations. To begin with, extended families which were a ubiquitous family configuration in Eastern countries in hundred years has been rapidly replacing by nuclear families. To be more specific, in the past, because of the cult of conservative tradition and limitless of property, many different generations used to live under the one roof while the majority of family households in today’s society consists of parents and their offspring. Furthermore, closely connected with the right of gender equality, modern women would get rid of the notion that woman’s role is stay at home and take care of their family. In fact, if wives can actually have their powerful plays in their families, they can become a wonderful breadwinner as good as husbands. I believe that these shifts are tremendous need due to their distinguish merits which can never be outweighed. Firstly, as smaller in family size, each members could enjoy greater nuances of freedom and privacy. In other words, understandably, each family member has his or her own trait and preference which differ from or maybe contrast with others in multi-generational family. Secondly, both husbands and wives derive benefits from the change in family role. In particular, the share of increasingly living expenses would help men alleviate the burden of finance while women have more opportunities to socialize with their friends and colleagues. In conclusion, I am convinced that the changing of family configuration is the optimal way to future generations.
Nowadays, the drastic development of economy and society have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
every aspect of our life,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the fabric
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members’ plays. From my perspective, there are considerable merits of these transformations.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which were a ubiquitous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
configuration in Eastern countries in
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
years has been
rapidly
replacing by nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. To be more specific, in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the cult of conservative tradition and limitless of property,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under the one roof while the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
households in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society consists of parents and their offspring.
Furthermore
,
closely
connected with the right of gender equality, modern women would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the notion that woman’s role is stay at home and take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In fact, if wives can actually have their powerful plays in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, they can become a wonderful breadwinner as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as husbands.

I believe that these shifts are tremendous need due to their distinguish merits which can never
be outweighed
.
Firstly
, as smaller in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size, each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "member"?
members
could enjoy greater nuances of freedom and privacy.
In other words
,
understandably
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
trait and preference which differ from or maybe contrast with others in multi-generational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Secondly
, both husbands and wives derive benefits from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
role.
In particular
, the share of
increasingly
living expenses would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
alleviate the burden of finance while women have more opportunities to socialize with their friends and colleagues.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that the changing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
configuration is the optimal way to future generations.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, there has been a change in family structure as well as roles.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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