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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

It is irrefutable that money has become part and parcel in individual's life in order to fulfil the basic survival requirements. although selecting any job offer, quite a few candidates focus on the salary package, but there are some job seekers who give priority to other factors such as adapting potential skills including leadership, creativity, gaining experience, healthy working environment, rather than other money. After going delve deeper, I am completely agreed with this notion. To embark on, the first and foremost significant reason is secure future because if any international company does not offer good wage to the employees, but at the same time they are doing work in advanced technological environment where they can gather wide range experience. Hence, it will help them to increase their confidence level to handle any kind of situation in an efficient way which leads to more job opportunities in future which automatically boost their pay. Moving towards another benefit which can not be negligible to preferring other aspects of jobs instead of money. Motivation is the key of gaining success in the life. If organization regularly motivate their worker for the best performance, they will definitely take part in challenging task which may help workplace to reach at peak as compared to other business organizations and even they may promote for higher position for their outstanding outcomes. By doing this, they can be capable to earn many skills under their belt which help them to become all-rounder. In conclusion, undoubted, it is essential to be financially sound for excellent living standard, but if people choose workplace which provide real value to their hard work and dedication, they will definitely start good earning. So, other aspect of jobs should be kept at the top during searching for the job as these are directly proportional to the good earning.
It is irrefutable that money has become part and parcel in individual's life in order to fulfil the basic survival requirements.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
although
selecting any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer, quite a few candidates focus on the salary package,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers who give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors such as adapting potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
including leadership, creativity, gaining experience, healthy working environment,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
money. After going delve deeper, I am completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with this notion.

To embark on, the
first
and foremost significant reason is secure future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if any international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
does not offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage to the employees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time they are doing work in advanced technological environment where they can gather wide range experience.
Hence
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to increase their confidence level to handle any kind of situation
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “efficiently” to avoid wordiness.
in an efficient way
which leads to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities in future which
automatically
boost their pay.

Moving towards another benefit which can not be negligible to preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
instead
of money. Motivation is the key of gaining success in the life. If organization
regularly
motivate their worker for the best performance, they will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in challenging task which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
workplace to reach at peak as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
business organizations and even they may promote for higher position for their outstanding outcomes. By doing this, they can be capable to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
under their belt which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to become all-rounder.

In conclusion
, undoubted, it is essential to be
financially
sound for excellent living standard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose workplace which provide real value to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and dedication, they will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
earning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
at the top during searching for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as these are
directly
proportional to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
earning.
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IELTS essay When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration for many. Others, however, prefer different other aspects of a job over the salary they earn. In your opinion what are the most important aspects of a job?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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