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When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? VMj6
Whether a online or printed resources should be preferred to impart how to read is a contentious debate. In my perspective, printed sources have far more benefits in terms of convenience factor as well as few demerits online sources have. On the one hand, technological devices especially mobile phones and portable devices have paved the way to access information among the world. In other words, globally written books and literatures can easily get through these technical gadgets; as a result, people will have wide choices to pick up materials they want in order to read. Moreover, it is generally believed that these books have different vocabulary and distinct patterns or styles of writting languages.   Indeedly, there is availability of pronunciation facility too. Therefore, mistakes of mispronounced words could be avoided. On the other hand, some people often claimed that conventional way of reading would be more beneficial as compared to online copies. This is because it is undeniable that mobile phones and tablets are much expensive to afford. However, people will face more challenges to understand foreign languages, particularly French and Spanish. Despite these issues,   traditional newspapers and native books are best way to inculcate for the purpose of purpose. This is to say, many individuals can feel convenient along with their hectic schedules as it also eliminate the strain that electronics have created. For instance, a survey conducted by 'the hindu' newspaper had suggested that more and more elderly people and mid 40's aged group were more proficient in reading their native countries periodicals compared to utilization of online sources. In conclusion, although technology has made bridge to get exposed to learn how to read through worldwide written books and few options available to enhance reading, but the fact of satisfaction and affordability factor that printed resources have provided will be more in use in future
Whether
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or printed resources should
be preferred
to impart how to read is a contentious debate. In my perspective, printed sources have far more benefits in terms of convenience factor
as well
as few demerits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sources have.

On the one hand, technological devices
especially
mobile phones and portable devices have paved the way to access information among the world.
In other words
, globally written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and literatures can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through these technical gadgets;
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have wide choices to pick up materials they want in order to read.
Moreover
, it is
generally
believed that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
vocabulary and distinct patterns or styles of
Possible spelling mistake found.
writting
languages.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Possible spelling mistake found.
Indeedly
, there is availability of pronunciation facility too.
Therefore
, mistakes of mispronounced words could
be avoided
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that conventional way of reading would be more beneficial as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
copies. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is undeniable that mobile phones and tablets are much expensive to afford.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will face more challenges
Did you mean "understanding"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to understand
foreign languages,
particularly
French and Spanish. Despite these issues,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
traditional newspapers and native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
A determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".
are best
way to inculcate for the purpose of purpose. This is to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals can feel convenient along with their hectic schedules as it
also
eliminate the strain that electronics have created.
For instance
, a survey conducted by 'the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hindu
' newspaper had suggested that more and more elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and mid
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "40s".
40's
aged group were more proficient in reading their native countries periodicals compared to utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sources.

In conclusion
, although technology has made bridge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to learn how to read through worldwide written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and few options available to enhance reading,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the fact of satisfaction and affordability factor that printed resources have provided will be more in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in future
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IELTS essay When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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