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Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is creating an environmental problem and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is creating an environmental problem and it should be stopped. WMAN
People have different views on whether industrial development should be encouraged to eradicate poverty or should be stopped to reduce global environmental related issues. Although a smaller section of the population believed that this phenomenon will create employment and increase the purchasing power of a nation, I consider that further development should be in favour of the environment. Firstly, the main reason for the majority of people below the poverty line is because of the unemployment rate. It is widely known that if any industry growing, it will contribute to afford opportunities to many jobless people. Secondly, having substantial and salary, residents would not show a reluctance to purchase goods and services in order to fulfil their elementary needs. This will not only greatly increase in the procurement but also increase the overall country’s economy by paying taxes. This extra accrued fund could be then utilised in the development of remaining financial limited individuals. On the other hand, despite the above arguments, according to me, it is more important to consider the long-term benefits. Any industrial development, including chemical factories, automotive, which are the primary causes of air contamination are deleterious to human health as well as to global environmental issues. If such corporations increase significantly, then it will cause to the whole planet by which everyone would suffer from it. Instead, there should obviously be growth in the industries, but they contribute to the mitigate the environmental issues rather than increasing them. In conclusion, while developing an industry would play an important role in solving the poverty issue, I believe that those industries should consider plans which could bring benefits in the long run.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on whether industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
should
be encouraged
to eradicate poverty or should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
global environmental related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Although a smaller section of the population believed that this phenomenon will create employment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the purchasing power of a nation, I consider that
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
should be in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the environment.

Firstly
, the main reason for the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
below the poverty line is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unemployment rate. It is
widely
known that if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
growing, it will contribute to afford opportunities to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Secondly
, having substantial and salary, residents would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a reluctance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in order to fulfil their elementary needs. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
greatly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the procurement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the
overall
country’s economy by paying taxes. This extra accrued fund could be then
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of remaining financial limited individuals.

On the other hand
, despite the above arguments, according to me, it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the long-term benefits. Any industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, including chemical factories, automotive, which are the primary causes of air contamination are deleterious to human health
as well
as to global environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. If such corporations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
significantly
, then it will cause to the whole planet by which everyone would suffer from it.
Instead
, there should
obviously
be growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they contribute to
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'mitigate' is correct. If 'mitigate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the mitigate
the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
rather
than increasing them.

In conclusion
, while developing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
would play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in solving the poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, I believe that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
should consider plans which could bring benefits in the long run.
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IELTS essay Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is creating an environmental problem and it should be stopped.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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