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what will be the effct of this trend

what will be the effct of this trend VY9OO
Today’s society is becoming more developed the tradition also fades away through time. In many countries, family members do not eat together anymore. The essay will discuss about the reason behind this trend as well as its impact on all families. There is a main reason why this trend occurs, which is the modernization of society. It is clear that, restaurants show up increasingly with a variety of different dishes attract people who are busy with work and do not have time to prepare meals at home so eating at the restaurant will save more time. Furthermore, in most school, it is common to provide for student with school meal, therefor, children do not come back home to eat with their families. The long-term effect of this trend are severe, not having meals together will lead to disconnection between family members, parents and children no longer bond and share stories with each other then they will lose understanding between members and in the long run the feelings will become faded. For example According to a recent study, only 10% of people who boast like to eat and share everything with their family. In conclusion, the tradition of eating with the family is disappearing, which greatly affects the relationship between family members.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s society is becoming more developed the tradition
also
fades away through time. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many


countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
do not eat together anymore. The essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
reason

behind this trend
as well
as its impact on all families.

There is a main reason why this trend occurs, which is the modernization of society. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that,

restaurants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up
increasingly
with a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
dishes attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are busy with

work and do not have time to prepare meals at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
eating at the restaurant will save more

time.
Furthermore
, in most school, it is common to provide for student with school meal, therefor,

children do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home to eat with their families.

The long-term effect of this trend are severe, not having meals together will lead to disconnection

between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, parents and children no longer bond and share stories with each
Did you mean "other than"?
other then
they will lose understanding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and in the long run the feelings will become

faded.
For example
According to a recent study,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who boast like to eat and share

everything with their family.

In conclusion
, the tradition of eating with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is disappearing, which
greatly
affects the

relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
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IELTS essay what will be the effct of this trend

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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