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A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • give contact details for when you are away • give instructions about how to care for your pet • describe other household d v.1

A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • give contact details for when you are away • give instructions about how to care for your pet • describe other household d v. 1
People define happiness in a different terms. Some people opine that pleasure comes within; while, many others consider outer objects as a source of prosperity. I have discussed both the perspective of bliss before coming to a conclusion. To begin with, many individuals held themselves responsible for well-being because they believe happiness is a state of satisfactory feeling, and they do not need to depend on others to pursue their well-being. Those people believe, enjoyment is not attached with any external factors, but internal peace of mind. When a person fills satisfied within own self, he feels happy. For example, one survey has revealed that 60% people who marked themselves satisfied are happier than those who are dissatisfied. Hence, everyone is responsible for their delight. On the other aspect hand, many people think, that prosperity can be massively affected by surrounding factors. One feels happier when he is surrounded by people who support and motivate him. For instance, one survey has revealed, generally, people are happier when they are with their friends and family because they feel more secure and content. Additionally, many individuals consider money as a source of enjoyment. They feel happy showing off their wealth to others. Resulting, materialistic things impart them a sense of satisfaction. In conclusion, I believe happiness is a feeling of satisfaction and I think every individual is responsible to feel satisfied with their own choices and decisions of life. Although, other objects can be reason of temporary optimism. However, if someone's not happy with themselves no other thing can keep them happy for a long period. Thus, a balance of both is important for joy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
define happiness in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "term"?
terms
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that pleasure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
within; while,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others consider outer objects as a source of prosperity. I have discussed both the perspective of bliss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals held themselves responsible for well-being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe happiness is a state of satisfactory feeling, and they do not need to depend on others to pursue their well-being. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe, enjoyment is not attached with any external factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
internal peace of mind. When a person fills satisfied within
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
For example
, one survey has revealed that 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who marked themselves satisfied are happier than those who
are dissatisfied
.
Hence
, everyone is responsible for their delight.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspect hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that prosperity can be
massively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by surrounding factors. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feels
happier when he
is surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who support and motivate him.
For instance
, one survey has revealed,
generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happier when they are with their friends and family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
more secure and content.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals consider money as a source of enjoyment. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
showing off their wealth to others. Resulting, materialistic things impart them a sense of satisfaction.

In conclusion
, I believe happiness is a feeling of satisfaction and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every individual is responsible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
satisfied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices and decisions of life.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
objects can be reason of temporary optimism.
However
, if someone's not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
with themselves no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
thing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
for a long period.
Thus
, a balance of both is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for joy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • give contact details for when you are away • give instructions about how to care for your pet • describe other household d v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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