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what should do to be healthy?

what should do to be healthy? eEO6p
I’m generally in good health =My health is generally good. Since the start of the pandemic, I’ve faced with some health problems and I’ve put some weight on. The state of my health has concerned my mother greatly. Drinking so much, having bad eating habits and not exercising are the reasons that are damaging my health. Moreover in recent days increase in the volume of work had an adverse impact on my health, too. It is not an enviable way of life which also doesn’t fulfill me. I’ve taken some drastic actions accordingly, hoping to achieve the desired effect. Firstly, I’ve started by changing of my eating habits without risk to my health. Because, if you fail to eat, you will have a poor health. So, it was not a sort of diet, it was the combination of some concrete rules aiming to live a healthful life. Let’s say I’ve tried to eat healthier foods rather than just taking unhealthy foods away. I’ve consumed more fruits, low-fat dairy products, whole-grain foods, besides I’ve drunk water instead of high-sugar drinks and have reduced sugar intake. Then, I’ve joined the gym, engaging in physical activities have helped me for burning calories. I’ve hardly ever gone for a swim. Doing sports boosts my energy level and my health has been much improved after I started exercising. Furthermore, at my mother’s tremendous insistence, following months I will make use of relaxation techniques such as meditation and yoga which are a great way to help you alleviate stress.
I’m
generally
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
=My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the pandemic, I’ve faced with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems and I’ve put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
weight on. The state of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has concerned my mother
greatly
. Drinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
eating habits and not exercising are the reasons that are damaging my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in recent days increase in the volume of work had an adverse impact on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, too. It is not an enviable way of life which
also
doesn’t fulfill me. I’ve taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drastic actions
accordingly
, hoping to achieve the desired effect.

Firstly
, I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
by changing of my eating habits without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, if you fail to eat, you will have a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it was not a sort of diet, it was the combination of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concrete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
aiming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthful life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s say I’ve tried to eat healthier foods
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
taking unhealthy foods away. I’ve consumed more fruits, low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
dairy products, whole-grain foods,
besides
I’ve drunk water
instead
of high-sugar drinks and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
sugar intake. Then, I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the gym, engaging in physical activities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me for burning calories. I’ve hardly ever gone for a swim. Doing sports boosts my energy level and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has been much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
after I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
exercising.

Furthermore
, at my mother’s tremendous insistence, following months I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of relaxation techniques such as meditation and yoga which are a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you alleviate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
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IELTS essay what should do to be healthy?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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