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What should be done to reduce the Education achivement gap between rich and poor countries?

What should be done to reduce the Education achivement gap between rich and poor countries? BJw7d
A few years ago, children from poor countries had nowhere near the same educational achievements as ones from rich countrues. Today, the gap between them is wider than ever before. The situation is quite serious, but certainly not hopeless. There are many things that different governments can do if they want to shrink the already mentioned gap. First and foremost, they should invest more in education. This solution is pretty obvious, but in some countries education has no funding whatsoever. With no sufficient funding, education is bound to worsen. Investing in education means making different reforms, which means that the educational system is constantly evolving. However, with no funding, it does not evolve. It just freezes in a single place and, with time, becomes heavily outdated and utterly useless. Another thing they could do is make education less expensive. The richer the country, the more expensive its education. However, sometimes it is simply overpriced and only reachable for students from rich families. Therefore, even if they work harder than others, they won’t get good education. If education becomes available for students from every financial background, more people will be able to get higher education. As a result, more of them will establish careers and contribute to the development of the society. Therefore, the education achievement gap will start to shrink as well. In conclusion, I think that there are many ways to reduce the education achievement gap. What makes the process difficult is that it is extremely delicate and require a lot of time and effort.
A few years ago, children from poor countries had nowhere near the same educational achievements as ones from rich
Possible spelling mistake found.
countrues
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between them is wider than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

The situation is quite serious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
certainly
not hopeless. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can do if they want to shrink the already mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
.
First
and foremost, they should invest more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This solution is pretty obvious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has no funding whatsoever.

With no sufficient funding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is bound
to worsen. Investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
means making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reforms, which means that the educational system is
constantly
evolving.
However
, with no funding, it does not evolve. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
freezes in a single place and, with time, becomes
heavily
outdated and
utterly
useless.

Another thing they could do is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
less expensive. The richer the country, the more expensive its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is
simply
overpriced and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reachable for students from rich families.
Therefore
, even if they work harder than others, they won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
becomes available for students from every financial background, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
As a result
, more of them will establish careers and contribute to the development of the society.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
achievement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to shrink
as well
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
achievement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the process difficult is that it is
extremely
delicate and require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and effort.
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IELTS essay What should be done to reduce the Education achivement gap between rich and poor countries?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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