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Money is important for happiness some people think it is not discuss both views

Money is important for happiness some people think it is not discuss both views 7a3Pk
Happiness is a state of mind however there are two predominantly contrasting views where a school of thought deems that availability of cash hand hold permanent significance for achieving pleasure while other emphasis that finance has no positive realtion with real happiness that will be discussed in this essay. To commence with the former view money is important to buy basic necessities of life and to rear oneself and their families. Although having money brings happiness to a lot of people. Nowadays all realtions fed up on hard cash. Very often we see that levish human have more friends as compared to straitened person. As a result, some masses reckon that money is vital for happiness but I m not agree with this view However, on the other hand side, I aslo nature that money increases happiness until about a certain level of earning, and after that our emotional well being doesn't increase with income. Close circle of friends, and family is most important factor of happiness. It is completely wrong to argue that the richest person is the happiest one. For an example a person earning millions per month may not be satisfied with the work he does and a person on the other hand earning less but enjoying the work he does may be more happier. However, many other factor play significance role in happiness of a person for instance a loving nd understanding parter in life plays a very crucial role in life of a man. Freinds indeed are also important to life to share and buit memories of life. In conclusion, money is not essential for happiness, which can be found through job satisfaction as well as family. If more individual strived in life towards true happiness rather than money, the word be a better place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
is a state of mind
however
there are two
predominantly
contrasting views where a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
deems that availability of cash hand hold permanent significance for achieving pleasure while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
emphasis that finance has no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake found.
realtion
with real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
that will
be discussed
in this essay.

To commence with the former view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and to rear oneself and their families.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Nowadays all
Possible spelling mistake found.
realtions
fed up on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
cash.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
levish
human have more friends as compared to straitened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I m not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
view


However
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand side, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
nature that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
until about a certain level of earning, and after that our emotional
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
doesn't increase with income. Close circle of friends, and family is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. It is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to argue that the richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is the happiest one. For an example a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
earning millions per month may not
be satisfied
with the work he does and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand earning less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
enjoying the work he does may be
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factor play significance role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
for instance
a loving
Possible spelling mistake found.
nd
understanding
Possible spelling mistake found.
parter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freinds
indeed
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to share and
Possible spelling mistake found.
buit
memories of life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, which can
be found
through job satisfaction
as well
as family. If more individual strived in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
towards true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, the word be a better place.
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IELTS essay Money is important for happiness some people think it is not discuss both views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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