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What resource would you choose in order to get informed. A newspaper, On TV or on Internet, explain why? v.1

What resource would you choose in order to get informed. A newspaper, On TV or on Internet, explain why? v. 1
In the present age, globalization is playing an increasingly important role in our lives. But in the meantime, whether it is a blessing or a curse has sparked a heated debate. Some people argue that globalization has a fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives, while many others contend that it has a detrimental effect as well. A convincing argument can be made about industrialization not only playing a pivotal role in the development of technology and the economy of the nation, but also promoting the cultural exchange between different countries. To start with, it is the advancement that impelled many corporate to become international groups, thereby making a contribution to the local technology and employment. Specifically, when a multinational group establishes a factory in a developing country, the new equipment, the new management skills and the job vacancies are all in the best interest of the local society. Moreover, people worldwide can get to know each other better through globalization. It is easy to see that more and more Hollywood blockbusters show cultures different from American, some recent examples are ‘Kungfu Panda’ and ‘The Mummy’. Admittedly, the profit driven side of globalization has severely affected young people. Today, in the metropolises in different countries, it is very common to see teenagers wearing NIKE T-shirts and Adidas footwear, playing Hip-Hop music on Apple iPod and eating at the burger shop. The culture that took a thousand years to form just seems similar in these cities; it seems as though you can only distinguish them by their language. Meanwhile, in some developing countries, sweat workshops are always a concerning issue. For instance, reports show that some teenagers employed in NIKE’s contractors work in smelly factories over 14 hours of a day, but only paid fifty cents per hour. To sum up, I would concede that the liberalisation does come with some adverse effects. Despite that fact, benefits created by it far outweigh the disadvantages. Overall, I am convinced that we should further promote globalization and meanwhile the local government should take measures to combat culture assimilation and sweat workshops.
In the present age, globalization is playing an
increasingly
important
role in our
lives
.
But
in the meantime, whether it is a blessing or a curse has sparked a heated debate.
Some
people
argue that globalization has a
fundamentally
beneficial influence on our
lives
, while
many
others contend that it has a detrimental effect
as well
.

A convincing argument can
be made
about industrialization not
only
playing a pivotal role in the development of technology and the economy of the nation,
but
also
promoting the cultural exchange between
different
countries
. To
start
with, it is the advancement that impelled
many
corporate to become international groups, thereby making a contribution to the local technology and employment.
Specifically
, when a multinational group establishes a factory in a developing
country
, the new equipment, the new management
skills
and the job vacancies are all in the best interest of the local society.
Moreover
,
people
worldwide can
get
to know each other better through globalization. It is easy to
see
that more and more Hollywood blockbusters
show
cultures
different
from American,
some
recent examples are ‘
Kungfu
Panda’ and ‘The
Mummy
’.

Admittedly
, the profit driven side of globalization has
severely
affected
young
people
.
Today
, in the metropolises in
different
countries
, it is
very
common to
see
teenagers
wearing NIKE T-shirts and Adidas footwear, playing Hip-Hop music on Apple iPod and eating at the burger shop. The culture that took a thousand years to form
just
seems similar in these cities; it seems as though you can
only
distinguish them by their language. Meanwhile, in
some
developing
countries
, sweat workshops are always a concerning issue.
For instance
, reports
show
that
some
teenagers
employed in NIKE’s contractors work in smelly factories over 14 hours of a day,
but
only
paid fifty cents per hour.

To sum up, I would concede that the
liberalisation
does
come
with
some
adverse effects. Despite that fact, benefits created by it far outweigh the disadvantages.
Overall
, I
am convinced
that we should
further
promote globalization and meanwhile the local
government
should take measures to combat culture assimilation and sweat workshops.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay What resource would you choose in order to get informed. A newspaper, On TV or on Internet, explain why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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