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the benefits of education.

the benefits of education. nNM0e
Education has a lot of advantages. Not only will an education help you in terms of job opportunities, career progression, and skill development, but it will also benefit your society and community. Firstly, a system of education help people a fully personality and intellectual development. Education gives us a knowledge of the world around us and changes it into something better. Education is the tool which provides people require knowledge, skill, technique, and information and enables them to know their rights and duties toward their family, society, and obviously nation. It helps us build opinions and have points of view on things in life. Not only that, but education also affect our health. We can not only know how to best take care of ourselves, but we can feel confident and good about ourselves, which will likely have a positive effect on our physical well-being. People with better education tend to live longer and have healthier lifestyles. Secondly, education has brought us more job opportunities. In fact, those who get an education have higher incomes, have more opportunities in their lives. Moreover, a good basis education prepares students for a career, or for advancement within their current field. Higher education gives the training and skills necessary for success in a specific area. In addition, many positions require a degree for entry. a A college degree is the minimum requirements for many jobs, especially jobs like doctor, law, finance, accountant. Thirdly, education improve personal development of skills. Students are required to go through many types of assignments, discussions, courses, and more during their time in education. Therefore, after learning processes, they will accumulate many wonderful skills which is very useful for their future job like presentation skills, analytical skills, teamwork skills, ect. Futhermore, from extracurriculars, students learn arts, sports, and more that help them personally in life and to connect with others. Last but not least, education is of key essence for sustainable society. Education will improve people not only with knowledge about (college) subjects, but it also shows them how to lead with emotions and true values. Educated people can easily differentiate between right and wrong, thus education helps reduce the crime rate. Besides, people with higher levels of education have progressively higher rates of voting, volunteerism, and blood donation. Therefore, many countries have concerned about education with a view to heightening the people's spirit, training manpower, and fostering talent. In conclusion, education has a lot of benefits and there are so much more than just these advantages of education I have listed, and it’s not hard to find some that specifically benefit that we need in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
will an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities, career progression, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
benefit your society and community.

Firstly
, a system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a
You used an adverb ('fully') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('personality') instead of another adjective.
fully personality
and intellectual development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
gives us a knowledge of the world around us and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
it into something better.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is the tool which provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
require knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, technique, and information and enables them to know their rights and duties toward their family, society, and
obviously
nation. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us build opinions and have points of view on things in life. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
also
affect our health. We can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
know how to best take care of ourselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can feel confident and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
about ourselves, which will likely have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on our physical well-being.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer and have healthier lifestyles.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has brought us more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. In fact, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have higher incomes, have more opportunities in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
basis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
prepares students for a career, or for advancement within their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
field. Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives the training and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
necessary for success in a specific area.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positions require a degree for entry.
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "A" is left.
a A
college degree is the minimum requirements for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like doctor, law, finance, accountant.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
personal development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Students
are required
to go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of assignments, discussions, courses, and more during their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
, after learning processes, they will accumulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
like presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, analytical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ect
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, from
Possible spelling mistake found.
extracurriculars
, students learn arts, sports, and more that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
personally
in life and to connect with others.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is of key essence for sustainable society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
with knowledge about (college) subjects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
them how to lead with emotions and true values. Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
differentiate between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with higher levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have
progressively
higher rates of voting, volunteerism, and blood donation.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have concerned about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with a view to heightening the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's spirit, training manpower, and fostering talent.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
these advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
I have listed, and it’s not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
specifically
benefit that we need in our life.
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IELTS essay the benefits of education.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
439 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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