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What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distances into work?

What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distances into work? aqyKX
There has been an increase of commuters escaping the city center to live in the surrounding areas and travel to and from work each day. As a result of this the traffic jams in the city have risen as well as the pollution, damaging the natural habitat. There are some ways to deal with this issue, such as building new ride paths in the city and promoting the use of public transport. One of the main problems in the cities is the huge number of vehicles on the road during peak hours as many commuters use their private car to travel to and from work. This situation not only is affecting the quality of the air, but also damaging the ozone layer by emitting excessive CO2. Although, there is a solution that can reduce this gas emissions by encouraging the human society to use public transport more often. One of the strategies that can be put in place is to give the commuter a concession card for public transport during rush hour. By doing that, fewer automobiles will be on the roads and less CO2 will be emitted. Another concern about the increase of the pollution is the damage that the environment is experiencing. However, there are some methods to apply in order to reduce the pollution in the cities. Councils could build more infrastructures as in ride paths next to the main roads of the city to encourage individuals to use the bicycle much more than they do now. Furthermore, adding a new bicycle system in the city with bike sites around the most concurrent spots where not only commuters, but also tourists can rent a bike for an hour or for the day. If these measures are implemented the quality of the air in the city will improve and in consequence the natural habitat will be more preserved. Even though some people may be against the presence of bike riders in the city as it can end up with more accidents and more fatalities it will definitely help to protect the fauna and flora of our cities. In conclusion, it is clear that many more people are travelling to and from work, who are contributing in contaminating the cities much more than ever before. In contrast, there are some possible solutions to help alleviate it. The council could implement some strategies like facilitating the use of the bicycle as one the main means of transport and make more accessible for everyone the public transport system.
There has been an increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commuters
escaping the city center to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the surrounding areas and travel to and from work each day.
As a result
of this the traffic jams in the city have risen
as well
as the pollution, damaging the natural habitat. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to deal with this issue, such as building new ride paths in the city and promoting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport.

One of the main problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is the huge number of vehicles on the road during peak hours as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commuters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their private car to travel to and from work. This situation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is affecting the quality of the air,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
damaging the ozone layer by emitting excessive CO2.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there is a solution that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this gas emissions by encouraging the human society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. One of the strategies that can
be put
in place is to give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commuter
a concession card for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
during rush hour. By doing that, fewer automobiles will be on the roads and less CO2 will
be emitted
.

Another concern about the increase of the pollution is the damage that the environment is experiencing.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods to apply in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Councils could build more infrastructures as in ride paths
next
to the main roads of the city to encourage individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bicycle much more than they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Furthermore
, adding a new bicycle system in the city with bike sites around the most concurrent spots where not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commuters
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
tourists can rent a bike for an hour or for the day. If these measures
are implemented
the quality of the air in the city will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and in consequence the natural habitat will be more preserved.

Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may be against the presence of bike riders in the city as it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with more accidents and more fatalities it will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect the fauna and flora of our cities.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are travelling to and from work, who are contributing in contaminating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
much more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In contrast
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
alleviate it. The council could implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strategies like facilitating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the bicycle as one the main means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more accessible for everyone the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system.
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IELTS essay What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distances into work?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
417 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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