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What makes a good leader?

What makes a good leader? lLXrD
Most people usually work hard to become a leader in the workplace, but it is not everyone who has the ability to be a good leader. In my opinion, there are two traits to make a good leader. First of all, responsibility is the most important factor. As being a commander, we ought to lead our team to achieve a goal that we have set before. Moreover, a leader sometimes is responsible for the failure of his team’s project in the company because he does not follow up carefully the process of the project, the members’ tasks, and so on. Secondly, confidence is a great quality of a leader. When we are a leader, we usually represent our group to talk about the opinions or the initiatives in a meeting. Although we have a perfect plan for a new project, we are not confident to express our thinking, the boss will never know it. In conclusion, being a leader sounds easier, however, we should be responsible and confident if we want to be a good commander.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
in the workplace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not everyone who has the ability to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. In my opinion, there are two traits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, responsibility is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor. As being a commander, we ought to lead our team to achieve a goal that we have set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
The adverb 'sometimes' usually goes after the verb 'is'.
sometimes is
responsible for the failure of his team’s project in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he does not follow up
carefully
the process of the project, the members’ tasks, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, confidence is a great quality of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. When we are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
, we
usually
represent our group to talk about the opinions or the initiatives in a meeting. Although we have a perfect plan for a new project, we are not confident to express our thinking, the boss will never know it.
In conclusion
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
sounds easier,
however
, we should be responsible and confident if we want to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
commander.
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IELTS essay What makes a good leader?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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