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health average standart is going to be lower in the future

health average standart is going to be lower in the future bx2lg
Health is one of the most important things in a lot of people's life. In fact, I disagree with the statement that people's health average standard is going to be lower in the future. On the one hand, there are some of factors that might influence a drop in the average standard of people's health quality in the upcoming years. Take a sleeping habit as an example. People tend to be extremely busy nowadays that they barely have time to sleep and rest. This can result in a higher risk of health problems, for instance, high blood pressure, high blood sugar levels and many more. Sleep deprivation not only can affect physical health but also metal health. On the other hand, I believe that healthy habits that people are doing everyday now can lower the risk of unwanted diseases and health problems. There are a lot of things that can influence people to start living a healthy lifestyle, for example, workout videos that are available on the internet can be one of the best option for people to stay active in a busy day. Following a ten minute video of yoga or cardio from the internet can have a great impact to the body. Eating clean and making sure that the food consumed consist of vitamins, protein, minerals and other nutrients that the body needs can also improve people's health. By having a balanced diet, health problems like obesity can be avoided. In conclusion, a factor like a bad sleeping habit might influence a low average standard of people's health in the future. I, therefore, remain firmly convinced that the people's average standard health will improve by implementing healthy habits like working out and eating healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
life. In fact, I disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
is going to be lower in the future.

On the one hand, there are
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the factors") or simply say "some factors".
some of factors
that might influence a drop in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
quality in the upcoming years. Take a sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
as an example.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to be
extremely
busy nowadays that they
barely
have time to sleep and rest. This can result in a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems,
for instance
, high blood pressure, high blood sugar levels and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Sleep deprivation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can affect physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
metal health.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can lower the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of unwanted diseases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that can influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle,
for example
, workout videos that are available on the internet can be one of the best option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay active in a busy day. Following a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "ten-minute"
ten minute
video of yoga or cardio from the internet can have a great impact to the body. Eating clean and making sure that the food consumed consist of vitamins, protein, minerals and other nutrients that the body needs can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. By having a balanced diet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems like obesity can
be avoided
.

In conclusion
, a factor like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
might influence a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the future. I,
therefore
, remain
firmly
convinced that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
by implementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
like working out and eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
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IELTS essay health average standart is going to be lower in the future

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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