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What is the advantages and disadvantages of working in the city and working in the country?Where would you prefer to work and why?

What is the advantages and disadvantages of working in the city and working in the country? Where would you prefer to work and why? 06xA3
Nowadays there are numerous unemloyment all over the world. Consequently, it is a serious and global problem in our planet. So, how do you think? Why do people want to earn much salary? Where do they want to work? Due to the fact that, increasing of population has been bringing many problem such as unemployment too. Also choosing workplaces are today's problem. Numerous of people want to work abroad or in the city. As a result, it has been increasing a migration of people. Therefore, almost old people prefer to stay in the country. Generally young people want to work and live there where has all opportunity to live and educate their children. Some people believe that living and working abroad or in the city to show a good life in modern technology. In fact the new technology is increased in the modern developing countries or cities. Consequently, it is growing migration of people. However, there are advantages and disadvantages to work in the city and in the country. In my view I prefer to work in the city. because there are all opportunity and quality educaton for my children. But living in the city has many dissadvantages such as pollution air, noisy of tansports and traffic jam. Oving to the fact that, nowadays people prefer to work online. but it harmful to humans healthy. They are suffer from to be fat. So plenty of disease are dependent on it. For instance, blood pressure, heart diseases, thromboses and stress etc. In conclusion we can say that today's life is growing faster and faster. But people should think about our planets future how to save our nature without pollution or harm.
Nowadays there are numerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemloyment
all over the world.
Consequently
, it is a serious and global problem in our planet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, how do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
? Why do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to earn much salary? Where do they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
? Due to the fact that, increasing of population has been bringing
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
such as unemployment too.
Also
choosing workplaces are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's problem. Numerous of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
abroad or in the city.
As a result
, it has been increasing a migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, almost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to stay in the country.
Generally
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there
Did you mean "were", the simple past of "to be"?
where
has all opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and educate their children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that living and working abroad or in the city to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life in modern technology. In fact the new technology
is increased
in the modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Consequently
, it is growing migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, there are advantages and disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the city and in the country. In my view I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the city.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
there are all opportunity and quality
Possible spelling mistake found.
educaton
for my children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
living in the city has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissadvantages
such as pollution air, noisy of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tansports
and traffic jam.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oving
to the fact that, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
online.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
harmful to humans healthy. They are
Consider using a past participle here: "suffered".
suffer
from to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of disease are dependent on it.
For instance
, blood pressure, heart diseases, thromboses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
etc. In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, we".
conclusion we
can say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's life is growing faster and faster.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about our planets future how to save our nature without pollution or harm.
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IELTS essay What is the advantages and disadvantages of working in the city and working in the country? Where would you prefer to work and why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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