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discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of playing games

discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of playing games gDVbD
To date, every category seems to have revolutionized to catch up with this technology epoch, so are games. It is irrefutable that online games have become the priority when it comes to entertainment. This essay will demonstrated both the pros and cons of playing games. On the one hand, it is worth considering that electronic games are astonishingly beneficial. In the first place, many researches have been conducted to prove that playing games can help in contributing in easing one's anxiety and depression. Online games are in demand across the globe since they are deemed as a treatment in which allow people to relieve stress. Some even claim that socializing online with peers make they felt delighted. On the other hand, people should also have an insight in the downsides of this trend. The gaming industry contains a wide range of distinct diversions which numerous games are ferocious and according to The Telegraph, there is a direct connection between online games and an increase in aggressive behavior. The engrossing of games got the players - especially adolescents carried away, they no longer be conscious which may lead to overreaction. To recapitulate, while playing games have been noted for its enormously benefits, some evidence also suggest the detrimental side. Personally, I hold a belief that under supervision and parental guidance, as long as playing on moderation, people can take the advantage of games.
To date, every category seems to have revolutionized to catch up with this technology epoch,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have become the priority when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to entertainment. This essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "demonstrate"
demonstrated
both the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. On the one hand, it is worth considering that electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
astonishingly
beneficial. In the
first
place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researches have
been conducted
to prove that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in contributing in
easing one's anxiety and depression.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are in demand across the globe since they
are deemed
as a treatment in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
even claim that socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with peers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
they felt delighted.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
also
have an insight in the downsides of this trend. The gaming industry contains a wide range of distinct diversions which numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are ferocious and according to The Telegraph, there is a direct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and an increase in aggressive behavior. The engrossing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the players
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
especially
adolescents carried away, they no longer be conscious which may lead to overreaction. To recapitulate, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
been noted
for its
enormously
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidence
also
suggest the detrimental side.
Personally
, I hold a belief that under supervision and parental guidance, as long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on moderation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can take the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of playing games

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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