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What is more important job satisfsction or job security. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

What is more important job satisfsction or job security. v. 1
A person’s vocation is an integral part of his/her life as on many occasions, an individual’s identity is defined by the kind of work he/she performs daily. There is an ongoing debate as to which, amongst the following two points that is the personal job satisfaction or job security should be given higher priority while deciding upon choosing one’s career path. Through the medium of this essay, I will discuss both the points and provide my personal opinion in the end. The first viewpoint talks about job satisfaction, which also means getting an immense sense of personal satisfaction and pleasure from the work assigned. For example primary school teachers get an amazing amount of personal satisfaction and a sense of true purpose in their respective lives due practicing the noble profession of teaching even though teaching as a profession does not attract higher salary packages. On the other hand, the proponents of the notion of job security claim that the primary purpose of any livelihood is to generate and sustain financial security over the lifetime of a person. They are willing to do a particular task assigned to them even if it is mundane, boring or one of the most disliked activities to be done by anybody. For example, there are numerous government employees who do not like the work which they are doing at the office, but they choose to do it everyday as there is an aspect of job security involved. In my personal opinion, Job satisfaction is more important than job security as, If a person is getting job satisfaction out of any particular job which he/she is doing, then that particular person will be more motivated to do the work assigned to him and be more productive at work and happy in his personal life as compared to a person who is only chasing stability without actually committing for (to) the job.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
vocation is an integral part of his/her life as on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
occasions, an individual’s identity
is defined
by the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
he/she performs daily. There is an ongoing debate as to which, amongst the following two points
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
higher priority while deciding upon choosing one’s career path. Through the medium of this essay, I will discuss both the points and provide my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
opinion in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

The
first
viewpoint talks about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
, which
also
means getting an immense sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and pleasure from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
assigned.
For example
primary school teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an amazing amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and a sense of true purpose in their respective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due practicing the noble profession of teaching
even though
teaching as a profession does not attract higher salary packages.

On the other hand
, the proponents of the notion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
claim that the primary purpose of any livelihood is to generate and sustain financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
over the lifetime of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. They are willing to do a particular task assigned to them even if it is mundane, boring or one of the most disliked activities to
be done
by anybody.
For example
, there are numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
employees who do not like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which they are doing at the office,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they choose to do it
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
as there is an aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
involved.

In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
as, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
out of any particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which he/she is doing, then that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will be more motivated to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
assigned to him and be more productive at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and happy in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life as compared to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
chasing stability without actually committing for (to) the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay What is more important job satisfsction or job security. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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