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As almost people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to a job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v.1

As almost people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to a job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 1
These days, the majority of our daily routine is strictly represented by the time we spend working. This widespread trend is deeply due to a huge increase in employments also for women that in the past were just allowed to take care of their sons. Some people claim that the personal wellbeing is, nowadays, all dependent on our job satisfaction, since many factors could promote it and, in this way, we can justify the higher amount of time we spend working, instead of running after our leisures. In this essay, I will examine some of the factors what could weight in this common belief and offer some food for thought. One of the main factor is, of course, the need to give an explanation to our efforts. As our routine is totally adsorbed by our work, we try to look at jobs in a positive way, in order to get rid of the pressure that it could cause. This means that we need to rationalize our 'waste' of time behind jobs and therefore there is a trend in trying to excel and to be satisfied by what we daily do. Another reason can be that we are often challenged by what jobs required from us and when we are responsible of, for example, the group success the reward gained is really able to rocket up our pride and satisfaction on the job done. In other words, if we are tightly involved in our duties and activities, can be quite natural to do our best and to success for the overall well-being. On the other hand, since we are different human beings, satisfaction could also be poured in something else, maybe outside the job. This is because many people are not so much embroiled in their job and can be totally detached from it. To sum up, the wellbeing due to the job satisfaction cannot be seen as a universal need. Surely, the most competitive workers would gain rewards by their job affairs, but many others are just satisfied by something else. In my view, it is just a matter of equilibrium between all the aspects considered and if we love our job, of course, it will please us. Meanwhile, we should not forget that there is something else, apart from work and that can be satisfying too.
These days, the majority of our daily routine is
strictly
represented by the time we spend working. This widespread trend is
deeply
due to a huge increase in employments
also
for women that in the past were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take care of their sons.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
is, nowadays, all dependent on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors could promote it and, in this way, we can justify the higher amount of time we spend working,
instead
of running after our
Possible spelling mistake found.
leisures
. In this essay, I will examine
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
factors what could weight in this common belief and offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

One of the main factor is,
of course
, the need to give an explanation to our efforts. As our routine is
totally
adsorbed by our work, we try to look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the pressure that it could cause. This means that we need to rationalize our 'waste' of time behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
therefore
there is a trend in trying to excel and to
be satisfied
by what we daily do.

Another reason can be that we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
challenged by what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
required from us and when we are
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
,
for example
, the group success the reward gained is
really
able to rocket up our pride and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
done.
In other words
, if we are
tightly
involved in our duties and activities, can be quite natural to do our best and to success for the
overall
well-being.

On the other hand
, since we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
human beings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
could
also
be poured
in something else, maybe outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much embroiled in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and can be
totally
detached from it.

To sum up, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a universal need.
Surely
, the most competitive workers would gain rewards by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
affairs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
satisfied by something else. In my view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of equilibrium between all the aspects considered and if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
of course
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
us. Meanwhile, we should not forget that there is something else, apart from work and that can be satisfying too.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay As almost people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to a job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
387 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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