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What I think about advertising

What I think about advertising OVD9j
As you know, advertising is thought that it is meaningless due to their community, but I think it is not. When I see SNS, especially instagram, Twitter and Facebook, I am tempted by some of advertisement because they have been learning what I like or I might like so I take up my time a lot. In fact, actually I have bought some things a few times through watching them. They succeeded in getting me to buy. In this way, the advertisement on social networking systems nowadays makes us buy goods efficiently. However, some people say that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. I feel some of us, who are sensitive for ads or have strong will of their own would not be fooled by such ads, but There are a few points their opinion that I agree with. First, if they are too thin, we would not gaze at them. For extreme example, hydrogen water. It is obvious that water is based on hydrogen and oxygen. Second, that is not interesting for us. If you are a student, unless you major in dental surgery, you would not interested in an artificial tooth. Likewise, I do not seek to know it if it does not interest me. For these reasons I consider other people insist about it and I think it is important for us to select information good or bad. Also, we need to stand up to purchase through watching ads on the internet.
As you know, advertising is
thought
that it is meaningless due to their community,
but
I
think
it is not. When I
see
SNS,
especially
instagram
, Twitter and Facebook, I
am tempted
by
some of advertisement
because
they have been learning what I like or I might like
so
I take up my time a lot.

In fact, actually I have
bought
some
things a few times through watching them. They succeeded in getting me to
buy
. In this way, the advertisement on social networking systems nowadays
makes
us
buy
goods
efficiently
.
However
,
some
people
say that advertising is
so
common that we no longer pay attention to it. I feel
some
of us, who are sensitive for ads or have strong will of their
own
would not
be fooled
by such ads,
but
There are a few points their opinion that I
agree
with.
First
, if they are too thin, we would not gaze at them. For extreme example, hydrogen water. It is obvious that water
is based
on hydrogen and oxygen. Second,
that is
not interesting for us. If you are a student, unless you major in dental surgery, you would not
interested
in an artificial tooth.
Likewise
, I do not seek to know it if it does not interest me. For these reasons I consider other
people
insist about it and I
think
it is
important
for us to select information
good
or
bad
.
Also
, we need to stand up to
purchase
through watching ads on the internet.
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IELTS essay What I think about advertising

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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