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What government should do to improve teachers'working process?

What government should do to improve teachers'working process? ewm2V

It is often argued that authorities should create opportunities to develop the performance of teaching. It is considered that teaching process can guarantee of the bright future of the country. I will explain the number of courses of this issue. First of all, education plays one of the most crusial role in the development of a country. Teachers, who is the significant person of in schooling, should provide with cutting age technologies and salary bonuses. For instance, if teachers exploit advanced devices and multimedia equipments the lesson will be more effective than be expected. Secondly, the government is in need of up and coming cadres who are momentous specialists to increase

It is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:frequently
often
 argued that authorities should create opportunities to develop the performance of teaching. It is considered
 that teaching process can guarantee of the bright future of the country. I will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :interpret
explain
 the number of courses of this issue. This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, education plays one of the most Possible spelling mistake found.crucialcrustal
crusial
 role in the development of a country. Teachers, who is the significant person of in schooling, should provide with cutting age technologies and salary bonuses. For instance
, if teachers exploit advanced devices and multimedia equipments the lesson will be more effective than be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :anticipated
expected
. Secondly
, the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritypublic authority
government
 is in need of up and coming cadres who are momentous specialists to increase

IELTS essay What government should do to improve teachers'working process?

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

110 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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