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What government should do to improve teachers'working process?

What government should do to improve teachers'working process? ewm2V
It is often argued that authorities should create opportunities to develop the performance of teaching. It is considered that teaching process can guarantee of the bright future of the country. I will explain the number of courses of this issue. First of all, education plays one of the most crusial role in the development of a country. Teachers, who is the significant person of in schooling, should provide with cutting age technologies and salary bonuses. For instance, if teachers exploit advanced devices and multimedia equipments the lesson will be more effective than be expected. Secondly, the government is in need of up and coming cadres who are momentous specialists to increase
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that authorities should create opportunities to develop the performance of teaching. It
is considered
that teaching process can guarantee of the bright future of the country. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the number of courses of this issue.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, education plays one of the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
crusial
role in the development of a country. Teachers, who is the significant person of in schooling, should provide with cutting age technologies and salary bonuses.
For instance
, if teachers exploit advanced devices and multimedia equipments the lesson will be more effective than be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is in need of up and coming cadres who are momentous specialists to increase
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IELTS essay What government should do to improve teachers'working process?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
110 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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