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What do you think the education system of your country will look like in 20 years?

What do you think the education system of your country will look like in 20 years? xgRVQ
With the development of the world, people are also willing to change to keep up with the modern society especially in terms of education system. I would claim that in next 20 years, there will be a lot of very new changes with education in my country. There are several reasons for this idea which I intend to discuss in this essay. To begin with, there are some issues relating to this. Perhaps in the future, people will speak English very fluently as their mother tounge and English will be no longer an international language that people have to learn because of the coming of a new language like Franch, Korea, for instance. Besides that, a number of new courses will appear to meet the students’ demand such as good qualified teaching courses, social skills courses, hobbies courses or more chance to go abroad. I think that at that time, money is not a hurdle for everyone anymore which can prevent people from approaching best education system. Moreover, learning at the university will be not mandatory and dropouts will become popular, I think. University is not the only way to become successful. Proved by reality, there are some people who dropped out from secondary school and then they started to start-up by themselves. After challenges, they finally became billionare that inspirated young generation very much. There might be more private schools opened that bring advantages for children like well-educated, good facilities, small classes that teacher can take care of all students and this will be satisfied with them. In conclusion, it is undeniable true that education system will grow remarkably in the next 20 years and young people can approach the best quality to enhance them with the development of globalization.
With the development of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the modern society
especially
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system. I would claim that in
next
20 years, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in my country. There are several reasons for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which I intend to discuss in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues relating to this. Perhaps in the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will speak English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fluently
as their mother
Possible spelling mistake found.
tounge
and English will be no longer an international language that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the coming of a new language like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Franch
, Korea,
for instance
.
Besides
that, a number of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will appear to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the students’ demand such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualified teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, hobbies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
or more chance to go abroad. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that at that time, money is not a hurdle for everyone anymore which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from approaching best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.

Moreover
, learning at the university will be not mandatory and dropouts will become popular, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. University is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to become successful. Proved by reality, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who dropped out from secondary
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up by themselves. After challenges, they
finally
became
Possible spelling mistake found.
billionare
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspirated
young generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. There might be more private schools opened that bring advantages for children like well-educated,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
classes that teacher can take care of all students and this will
be satisfied
with them.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system will grow
remarkably
in the
next
20 years and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can approach the best quality to enhance them with the development of globalization.
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IELTS essay What do you think the education system of your country will look like in 20 years?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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