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What do you think about Covid-19's effects upon people ?

What do you think about Covid-19's effects upon people? 856rG
All around the world people struggle a virus which name is Covid-19. The virus badly affects people's life in various side such as psychological and social. Covid-19 has negative impacts upon the people's psychology. After the Coronavirus appeared in our life our thoughts and our lifestyle had been changed. Therefore, governments and health ministers have been declaring vital and essential announcements all time. The most important and essential notice is staying at home for preventing the spread. Thus, people started to live in their house. The compulsory situation leads to psychological problems. To illustrate, people who do not go anywhere from their home spend all the their time across the television, so they mainly get bad news from television. Also this act causes panic, depression and anxiety. According to recent research, these psychological problems certainly damage people's immune system so people who have a weak immune system immediately face Covid-19. In my view, when the virus stops all worlds, the rate of patient people will be increasing especially psychological and internal disease. Secondly, Covid-19 limits people’s social growth. People generally spend their season outside because all people mention that social heart feel better. In contrast, Coronavirus hinder and change people's growth. For instance, shopping is a significant part of socializing. While people are going a shopping centre and do shopping become relax and energetic. However, all shopping malls and entertainment areas closed with the government's decision. Also, our socializing is limited. Additionally, in all countries of the World education was intermitted for avoiding spreading. This, interrupting mostly affect students because of that schools are another socializing field. The student establishes connection and also, they set up a friendship. Also, students’ education becomes insufficient owing to Covid -19. Moreover, Corona's negative effects upon social activity and school soul are impacted relations. People who are removed social heart started to live at home for staying life. During a long hour, staying at home with the same persons hurt the relation. They tend to display impatient and angry attitudes. In China owing to curfew, people stay at house so they substantially have rowed with their wife and husband. The parallel with the debate rate of divorce have been increasing. This behaviour unfortunately bad effect of the Corona’s. In conclusion, Covid -19 has dramatically negative effect in people’s activity such as psychological and social. In my my view of thinking, people had better be considered and be calm in this processo process. Everything will be good.
All around the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggle a virus which name is Covid-19. The virus
badly
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
life in various side such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
and social.

Covid-19 has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
psychology. After the Coronavirus appeared in our life our thoughts and our lifestyle had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and health ministers have been declaring vital and essential announcements all time. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and essential notice is staying at home for preventing the spread.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. The compulsory situation leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
problems. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not go anywhere from their home spend all
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their time" or "the time"?
the their time
across the television,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
news from television.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
this act causes panic, depression and anxiety. According to recent research, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
problems
certainly
damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
immune system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a weak immune system immediately face Covid-19. In my view, when the virus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
all worlds, the rate of patient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be increasing
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
and internal disease.

Secondly
, Covid-19 limits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
growth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
generally
spend their season outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
heart feel better.
In contrast
, Coronavirus hinder and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
growth.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a significant part of socializing. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
become relax and energetic.
However
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls and entertainment areas closed with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's decision.
Also
, our socializing
is limited
.
Additionally
, in all countries of the World education was
Possible spelling mistake found.
intermitted
for avoiding spreading. This, interrupting
mostly
affect students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that schools are another socializing field. The student establishes connection and
also
, they set up a friendship.
Also
, students’ education becomes insufficient owing to
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
-19.
Moreover
, Corona's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activity and school soul
are impacted
relations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
are removed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
heart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at home for staying life. During a long hour, staying at home with the same persons hurt the relation. They tend to display impatient and angry attitudes. In China owing to curfew,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
substantially
have rowed with their wife and husband. The parallel with the debate rate of divorce have been increasing. This
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
unfortunately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect of the Corona’s.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
-19 has
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
activity such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
. In
Possible typo: you repeated a word
my my
view of thinking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had better
be considered
and be calm in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
processo
process. Everything will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
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IELTS essay What do you think about Covid-19's effects upon people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
412 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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