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Some people believe that sports are an essential part of school life for children while you should give reasons for your answers and include. ideas and examples

Some people believe that sports are an essential part of school life for children while you should ideas and examples awQoP
With regards to sports people have a chance to improve their health. Massive of mass deem that sports play a paramount role in the kid's life. Yet, according to my point of view, it depends on the student's interest. I will elaborate both views in upcoming fragments with rational conclusion. Ironically enough, people with conflicting views highlighted that, sports should be compulsory in schools owing to teenagers can mount up pressure on their mind. Apart from it, with the assist of sports youngsters can show their talent in front of other people as well as they can maintain their body which help them live longer. In addition, they will not face any kinds of health issues. Moving further, they always away from drugs. Hence, the school should provide sporting facilities for youngsters. Probing further, I agree with those assert that sports play vital and there are multifarious origins behind to endorse this view. First and foremost, healthy mind dwells in a healthy body because physical fitness provides the superior mental ability, through this student can emphasis on their education regardless any worries. Beside this, in the modern era, study has increased significantly along with young people have no enough time they should encourage to students, they can do better in their entire life. Thus, it can be inferred that, sports should be compulsory in school because it gives tremendous benefits for children, they can enhance abilities and mentality, so school should provide sporting facilities for teenagers.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "sport".
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health. Massive of mass deem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play a paramount role in the kid's life.
Yet
, according to my point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, it depends on the student's interest. I will elaborate both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
in upcoming fragments with rational conclusion.

Ironically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with conflicting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
highlighted that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should be compulsory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
owing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can mount up pressure on their mind. Apart from it, with the assist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
youngsters can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talent in front of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as they can maintain their body which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.
In addition
, they will not face any kinds of health issues. Moving
further
, they always away from drugs.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should provide sporting facilities for youngsters.

Probing
further
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play vital and there are multifarious origins behind to endorse this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
.
First
and foremost, healthy mind dwells in a healthy body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
physical fitness provides the superior mental ability, through this student can emphasis on their education regardless any worries. Beside this, in the modern era, study has increased
significantly
along with young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time they should encourage to students, they can do better in their entire life.

Thus
, it can
be inferred
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should be compulsory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives tremendous benefits for children, they can enhance abilities and mentality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should provide sporting facilities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that sports are an essential part of school life for children while you should ideas and examples

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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