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what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their teenage

what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their teenage nk0P
It is widely believed, at the age of sixteen children in many countries are allowed to have rights and responsibilities for certain circumstances. This essay will examine to what degree parents should intervene and what kind of responsibility they should take to prepare their children before approaching that crucial phase (age of sixteen). To begin with, parents can get involved in how their children make a decision for their personal life. This is the critical aspect as a parent, to guide young people taking a wise decision. For example, if a child is entrusted with some money and they have free will to spend it, in such a case parents should make sure that the money used for something valuable. By doing so, parents could teach their child for being responsible for their acts and also being ready to take risks for those deeds. Another thing is parents should also in charge of how their teenage should spend their time. As time is the most essential aspect of people's lives, young people have to learn how to spend it wisely by doing productive activities. Parents should make this concept clear. That means, they can offer some help to organize their children's time properly. As an example, parents could arrange a weekly schedule for their child so there is a balance proportion of time between having quality time with family, making friends, and spending time doing their own interest or hobbies. In summary, it is the role of mother and father to be in charge of guiding their teenagers as they go towards a new phase in their life. It can be done by supervising and providing advice on how they taking a decision and dealing with time.
It is
widely
believed, at the age of sixteen children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to have rights and responsibilities for certain circumstances. This essay will examine to what degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should intervene and what kind of responsibility they should take to prepare their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
approaching that crucial phase (age of sixteen).

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in how their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision for their personal life. This is the critical aspect as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, to guide young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
taking a wise decision.
For example
, if a child
is entrusted
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they have free will to spend it, in such a case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for something valuable. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could teach their child for being responsible for their acts and
also
being ready to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for those deeds.

Another thing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
also
in charge of how their teenage should spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the most essential aspect of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn how to spend it
wisely
by doing productive activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this concept
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
. That means, they can offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to organize their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
properly
. As an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could arrange a weekly schedule for their child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is a balance proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between having quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family, making friends, and spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest or hobbies.

In summary, it is the role of mother and father to be in charge of guiding their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
as they go towards a new phase in their life. It can
be done
by supervising and providing advice on how
Did you mean "they're taking", "they are taking", or "they were taking"?
they taking
a decision and dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their teenage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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