Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

What causes some people not to go to the doctor or to hospitals when they have health problems?

What causes some people not to go to the doctor or to hospitals when they have health problems? KY0DR
In this era of development and busy lifestyles, health has been considered to be the most pivotal factors among anything else. However, a large number of people are not always willing to go to the doctor’s and ask about their current situations, which I believed to be due to different reasons. The first cause of this phenomenon is fear, which is one of the most common factors given by the patients refusing to go to hospitals. A lot of people are extremely afraid of anything that is associated with hospitals, doctor’s offices, medicines, doctors’ blouse shirts and even needles. Others may be simply out of the fear that they are sick and their diseases are incurable. This fear tends to occur more often in the elderly as they are worried that their offsprings might be ponderous. In addition, disbelief can also be attributed to the explanation of people not going to see the doctor’s. It is such an absurd mindset when a number of people do not believe in the power of medicines and doctors. On the contrary, they would like to cure themselves by using superstitious rituals, many of whom even come to the charlatans and are deceived to use medicines with pain reliever substances. This method can only help them relieve their pain but does not act as a role in curing the diseases completely. Hence, people can be mentally affected when they are diagnosed with a disease but they still need to be aware of the right method to get over it. To recapitulate, conscious of the illness as the patients may be, many still do not dare to go to hospitals because of their fear and mistaken disbelief towards the doctor force.
In this era of development and busy lifestyles, health has
been considered
to be the most pivotal factors among anything else.
However
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not always willing to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor’s
and ask about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situations, which I believed to be due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.

The
first
cause of this phenomenon is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
, which is one of the most common factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the patients refusing to go to hospitals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
extremely
afraid of anything that
is associated
with hospitals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor’s
offices, medicines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors’
blouse shirts and even needles. Others may be
simply
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
that they are sick and their diseases are incurable. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
tends to occur more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
in the elderly as they
are worried
that their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
might be ponderous.

In addition
, disbelief can
also
be attributed
to the explanation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor’s
. It is such an absurd mindset when a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not believe in the power of medicines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
.
On the contrary
, they would like to cure themselves by using superstitious rituals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of whom even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the charlatans and
are deceived
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
medicines with pain reliever substances. This method can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them relieve their pain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does not act as a role in curing the diseases completely.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be mentally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
when they
are diagnosed
with a disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
need to be aware of the right method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over it.

To recapitulate, conscious of the illness as the patients may be,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
still
do not dare to go to hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
and mistaken disbelief towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
force.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay What causes some people not to go to the doctor or to hospitals when they have health problems?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • What causes some people not to go to the doctor or to hospitals when they have health problems?