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What can we do to keep traditional music alive

What can we do to keep traditional music alive x8oaN
Together with the development of the world, traditional music becomes less and less popular and may disappear in the future. Therefore, we should take action now to protect this important value. First of all, traditional music can be put into education. If the young are taught about folk music methodically at school, they may no longer think that traditional songs are boring and hard to understand. Secondly, we should apply technology to develop the traditional music industry such as using social media to get access to the audience. In addition, instead of keeping performing them in old ways, we can organize online concerts for everyone to join. Last but not least, the government should have policies that prevent the disappearance of folk music. For example, the government might consider paying some money to encourage traditional singers to keep folk music alive because many of them find it difficult to make ends meet in modern life. These are some suggestions to preserve traditional songs, which play an indispensable role in our culture.
Together with the development of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
becomes less and less popular and may disappear in the future.
Therefore
, we should take action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to protect this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
value.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
be put
into education. If the young
are taught
about folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
methodically
at school, they may no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
songs are boring and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand.
Secondly
, we should apply technology to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry such as using social media to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to the audience.
In addition
,
instead
of keeping performing them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ways, we can organize online concerts for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have policies that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the disappearance of folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
might consider paying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
singers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
alive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in modern life. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
songs, which play an indispensable role in our culture.
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IELTS essay What can we do to keep traditional music alive

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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