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What can we do to help the children in underdeveloped areas to complete their basic education?

What can we do to help the children in underdeveloped areas to complete their basic education? m3xgA
As the economy develops, most of us are enjoying comfortable life. However, there are still a lot of children who live in poor families and cannot receive the basic education. The most noticeable group is those living in the countryside. In order to improve their educational levels, we can start from helping those poor children. The most effective way to help those children is to donate as much money as possible. As the basic problem for their lack of the education is resulted from poverty, we can alleviate the problem by raising money from other people. With enough money, children from poor families can finish their elementary education more smoothly. It will not be enough just by raising money. Experienced teachers are also very helpful to improve education level. Schools in undeveloped areas usually lack good teachers. We can raise the salary of those teachers who would like to teach in poor areas, or recruit more volunteer teachers. The increased number of teachers will play an active role in helping those poorly educated children. For those common people who are not able to donate money or be the volunteers, they can still do something to help. For example, they can provide some used textbooks or computers for those poor children. Although these cost not much, they are really helpful. All in all, we should try our utmost to help those children to finish their basic education. Either by donating money, recruiting volunteer teachers or by providing facilities, we can help to change the life of many of these children for the better.
As the economy develops, most of us are enjoying comfortable life.
However
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
families and cannot receive the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The most noticeable group is those living in the countryside. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their educational levels, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from helping those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The most effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is to donate as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as possible. As the basic problem for their lack of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is resulted
from poverty, we can alleviate the problem by raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
families can finish their elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
more
smoothly
. It will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
level. Schools in undeveloped areas
usually
lack
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. We can raise the salary of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who would like to teach in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
areas, or recruit more volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. The increased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will play an active role in helping those
poorly
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. For those common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are not able to donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or be the volunteers, they can
still
do something to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
For example
, they can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
textbooks or computers for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Although these cost not much, they are
really
helpful. All in all, we should try our utmost to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to finish their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Either by donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, recruiting volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or by providing facilities, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the life of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the better.
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IELTS essay What can we do to help the children in underdeveloped areas to complete their basic education?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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